Plus, this warning: "You will never sleep again"
Kate is only a few exciting days away from delivering her second child. The moment the new royal baby is born, both Kate and husband Prince William will face a new and terrifying challenge: raising two kids under the age of 2. While the duchess has likely spent time prepping George on what it means to have a sibling, who is prepping Kate for the struggles of raising two screaming, crying little ones?
That’s where @CrazyJewishMom comes in – or should we say Kim Friedman, the woman whose texts (sent to her daughter, Kate Siegel) are featured on the hilarious Instagram page, which has almost 500,000 followers.
PEOPLE chatted with Friedman about what tips she’d give to Kate on raising two little ones. (While Friedman had only one child, Kate, she has a surplus of advice, opinions and warnings for every child-rearing scenario.)
1. It’s never too early to prep for prep school.
The moment the new baby is born, Friedman tells PEOPLE, Kate should immediately get the baby on all the waiting lists for the best prep schools. “You might say, ‘He’s a future king, he can go wherever he wants!’ But not anymore! It’s like The Hunger Games out there,” she says. “Getting into any private school in London or New York? Paris? It’s a competitive nightmare.”
College, too, is right around the corner. “The Queen should be donating every year to Cambridge, Oxford and Edinburgh,” she says, in order to up the two babies’ admissions chances.
2. Don’t forget about George.
It’s not uncommon for a firstborn to get jealous of the new baby that’s receiving all the gifts and attention. “When people come to give the new baby gifts, have a closet full of gifts wrapped up and ready for George,” Friedman says. “So when someone comes with gifts for the new baby, they have one to give him, too.” (“If it’s a baby girl, and George decides he wants to play with the dolls or wear pink clothes – let him!”)
3. You can never have too many nannies.
“Have a lot of nannies,” Friedman recommends. “I look at Kate’s designer clothes and how expensive they are, and all I see is those babies spitting up on them.”
4. Involve the Queen.
Kate should recruit her mother to look after the newborn – and, more importantly, “babysit the nannies.”
5. If it’s a girl, resist the urge to wear ‘mommy and daughter look-alike dresses.’
“It can be very traumatic for a child.” (Noted.)
6. Make sure George washes his hands.
Kate should be prepared for the fact that George will have difficulty adjusting to the new baby, no matter how many extra presents or attention they give him. “Two-year-olds have temper tantrums. They have meltdowns. They can hit and scream at the new baby,” Friedman says. “So make sure George washes his hands all the time, so at least he doesn’t give the new baby germs if he tries to attack.” She also warns that George may crack when he realizes that the new baby is not temporary. “When he understands that baby is not leaving – that it’ll keep taking his toys, throwing up on his toys, whatever – he’s gonna have some problems.”
7. Plan date nights.
Life shouldn’t end after baby No. 2, even though the struggle is real. “People always say, ‘Oh, having two is just like having one.’ No, no, no. Having two is like having 10, especially if they’re under 10,” Friedman says. “Have the nannies around so you can take at least one night a week off. Even if you just go to one of your other houses with Will.”
8. Accept the fact that you’ll never sleep again.
“When my daughter was 10 days old – and I hadn’t slept for 10 days – I thought to myself: Oh my God, this is the rest of my life. In all honesty, you don’t really ever sleep again,” Friedman says. “No matter how many babysitters you have, the kids want mommy. And when they’re older and going out? Oh my God! You’re wondering where they are, who they’re with. The worrying never ends.”
9. Enjoy every minute.
“The most important thing I would say to Kate is – enjoy them. It’s over so quickly,” Friedman says. “Nothing in the world is better than having children – not even being queen of England.”