August 21, 2003 01:00 PM

For years, says Sharon Osbourne,I made fun of the ladies who were nipped, tucked and pulled. That is, until I joined the club. Now I’ve got my membership; I’m not going to let it expire.Osbourne, 50, discussed her many procedures with PEOPLE.

For me, if something bothers you about your appearance, just get it changed. If you’re lucky enough to be in a position to afford it, if it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it. You’re not hurting anyone.

I’ve had to space all my surgeries – otherwise I’d be in shock. I started with a full face-lift. When I went in to talk about it, I was totally freaked out. I requested that they not tell me all the details of the procedure.

It hurt like a mother. If anybody says their face-lift doesn’t hurt they’re lying. It was like I’d spent the night with an ax murderer. They take your ears off and put them back on! It took about two weeks for me to function properly. I didn’t look for four days – I was petrified. Finally I thought, “This is ridiculous,” and I saw the difference immediately: I didn’t have a double chin, and I didn’t have my jowls.

In 1999 I lost 125 lbs. after I had gastric bypass surgery. Then I had this big flap of skin that hung over my crotch. Very sexy, let me tell you. So I had a tummy tuck, and they took so much skin off they had to make a new belly button. They also lipo-ed my hips and arms – they took out 8 lbs. of fat. I went from a size 22 to a size 4. I looked like a different person. I never regretted it, but it took me a long time to enjoy it and accept it was the way I looked.

Next year I had a leg-lift. They literally pull your legs up like a stocking. A little while later I had my bum lifted too.

Many years ago, when everyone was having collagen put in their lips, I tried it. I had half a top lip done and I said, “I’m out of here.” It was excruciatingly painful. I walked around with half a top lip done, and it took about six weeks for it to get back to normal.

Recently my nipples were pointing south and I wanted them to point north. I called my friend, a surgeon named Leslie Stevens – he’s done all my work. I’ve been there so often I request my own anesthetist. I went into his clinic behind the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills. Loads of people go there and come out with scarves and sunglasses, trying to hide, and I just come bounding out, saying, “Guess what I’ve had done!” I don’t care how good your surgeon is; you can always tell.

I was very happy with the results. Now my nipples point in the direction I want: Everything is looking up! I went home a few hours later and had a nurse with me for 24 hours, watching for blood clots or bleeding. You watch out for a rise in temperature, which could indicate infection or pain that is above what you’d expect.

I’m going to have my arms done in a couple weeks. And I get Botox injections for frown lines on my forehead. I’ve been having it for a couple of years. My kids wouldn’t let me have it when I was going through chemo. I hardly expected them to cheer because Mummy wants to have a tummy tuck and her a – lifted. Why should they? It’s very vain. It was important to me, not them. If they wanted surgery and if they were fully grown into their bodies, I would support them. But you have to be you and know who you are. It takes years to do that. When you hear these girls who get graduation gifts of nose jobs, it’s like, hey, wait a little to see who you are.

One of my kids said, “No more, Mom. No more surgery.” But it was too late. It was like opening Pandora’s box. Ozzy said anyone who gets one tattoo wants another one. I think plastic surgery is like tattoos. If you’re happy with the results, then you push the button again and again.

A lot of women go too far. It’s so easy to fall into that trap, but you can begin to look really scary. There has to be a point where you have to stop, and I hope I’m able to realize that.

“Vanity. I mean it. Vanity,” the 45-year-old star of Everybody Loves Raymond (and mother of four boys under age 10) told PEOPLE last year. “I had four C-sections and my stomach looked like the map of the world. My breasts were hanging down to here from breast-feeding those babies, and my nipples were like platters. I wanted to fit into the gowns that I finally got to wear.”
“It’s better to be honest if you can. There is a lot in Hollywood that is not as it seems,” says Heaton, who maintains her post-op body by working out. “When I go out to an important public appearance, I have a lot of help to look the way I do. There is someone to do my makeup, someone to do my hair, a stylist to help me find just the right clothes. It’s really not fair, the image we present to the world. Women shouldn’t look at people they see on TV and compare themselves to them, because you aren’t seeing those women the way they really are.”

Nose: “It was round and (my surgeon) narrowed it. Isn’t it perfect?”
Breast reduction: “They were like French bread. They’re round, not oblong now. When I lay down they don’t cover my nose.”
Tummy tuck, after losing 80 lbs. through gastric bypass surgery in 1998: “I had a huge overhang and I had it taken off. It was a little more than a tuck.”
HOW SHE FEELS NOW “I need more (surgery),” says Barr, 50, whose new ABC reality series, The Real Roseanne, was recently canceled. “I want to get butt implants and a waist. But it’s been, like, 10 years since I had anything and I’m kind of scared of it. I’m old and I don’t know if I’ll wake up from the anesthetic. I’d hate to have them write, ‘She died while trying to get a waist.’ ”
WILL SHE GET MORE? Probably not. “I’ve come to the point where, hey, I look great and I’m not going to give it any more energy.”

WHAT SHE ADMITS TO Breast-lift in 1991 (after giving birth to Dakota, the second of her three kids) and collagen injections to plump her lips. (She’s had her fill, says Griffith, 46, on her Web site, and doesn’t get them anymore.)
WHAT SHE DENIES Liposuction, a face-lift and many other procedures about which the press speculated after Griffith was quoted in Britain’s Mirror in ’98 as saying, “I have been thinking about plastic surgery just lately, but I’m not saying where. Turning 40 is difficult. I often think, ‘If only someone could put a zip down the back of me and tighten everything up!’ ”

This is an online excerpt of PEOPLE magazine’s cover package.

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