Credit: Copying Beethoven: David Lukacs

O lucky dead-white-genius babe magnets! Painter Johannes Vermeer got Scarlett Johansson as his fictional assistant in Girl With a Pearl Earring, and now in Copying Beethoven, Ludwig van Beethoven (Ed Harris) gets Diane Kruger as the pretty girl who writes out the cranky musical giant’s manuscripts and lauds his Ode to Joy. Agnieszka Holland’s empurpled bio-fantasy is hooey with an anachronistic feminist slant from start to finish, lacking the jaunty cinematic dementia of Immortal Beloved. As LvB, Harris is intense, and intensely bewigged.