Meghan McCain recently opened up about the difficulties of the death of her father, Sen. John McCain, and shared gratitude for her mother Cindy's strength

By Adam Carlson
January 14, 2019 08:50 AM
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On Friday Meghan McCain opened up on Instagram about the difficulties of recovering from the death of her father, Sen. John McCain — but in the midst of “so much dark,” she has a “bright light.”

Late Sunday Meghan posted a sweet note of thanks to mom Cindy McCain, for her strength as the family matriarch (and for her fashion sense).

“Grateful for your love, strength, never ending support and always knowing how to perfectly wear black turtle necks and Chanel,” wrote Meghan, 34, along with two photos: one of her and her mom and one of her parents.

“You’re the toughest and most resilient of us all,” Meghan wrote. “Thank you for selflessly guiding us through and being a bright light in so much dark.”

Meghan McCain (left) and her mom, Cindy McCain
Meghan McCain/Instagram

Days earlier The View co-host shared a powerfully emotional post on her Instagram about the continued agony from her dad’s death in August and how it had re-ordered her world.

“I still miss you every hour,” she wrote along with a picture of the two of them when she was a girl.

“Time feels slow, like being underwater – I try and fill the days distracting myself from how painful it all still is,” she continued. “I cannot believe how intense it all still feels – isn’t it supposed to start easing up by now? It hasn’t. Grief keeps a tight and relentless stranglehold.”

In her word’s, her father’s passing was an “amputation” — a wrenching absence in her life to which she kept returning.

“I replay my last few days with you over and over again in my head wishing I had said or done something more or different,” she wrote on Friday. “I wish I could somehow have stopped death from coming. It doesn’t get easier, I just continue to try to adapt to the amputation and keep moving, breathing, living, fighting….”

And there were all the things she knew her dad would miss.

“I wish you had seen me get older, I wish you could have met my future children, I wish you could still watch me on The View every day and laugh about how crazy the world is,” she wrote. “I wish I could still hike in the creek with you, I wish we could still drink coffee on the deck, I miss the Arizona I love that exists with you in it.

“I fucking miss everything about you Dad. You’re still the sun in the center of my universe and always will be.”

Since her father’s passing last summer at 81, about a year after being diagnosed with brain cancer, Meghan has been candid about her journey to healing.

“I am feeling loss I have never wanted to feel,” she said at his funeral. “My father is gone. This love my father had for my mother was the most fierce and lasting of them all. …. He was endlessly present for us. And though we did not always understand it, he was always teaching.”

On her Instagram on Friday, Meghan also spoke directly to anyone else grappling with a similar grief:

“To everyone out there who has done this – you’re not alone. Don’t be ashamed of the pain or the process, I am not.”