The goat attempted to batter his way through a woman’s front door at 1:45 a.m.

By Alex Heigl
Updated March 14, 2016 07:39 PM
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Police in Sonoma County, Northern California, were called to an unusual home invasion attempt early Monday, when a belligerent goat tried to gain entry to a woman’s home via the front door.

“When officers arrived on scene the subject was still knocking on the front door, with their head,” Sebastopol Police Chief Jeff Weaver said in a Facebook post on Tuesday. “The subject, a goat, was safely taken into custody and reunited with their owner later that morning.”

Imagine the unnamed woman’s Monday morning for a moment. As you awake to a persistent knocking, your first instinct is fear. That evaporates once you realize the source of the sound, and turns to confusion — what robber would attempt to enter via the front door and so persistently announce their presence?

You might start to wonder if you’re part of some kind of viral prank. You might even get as far as opening to front door, only to realize that this is no prank, this is real life. There is no raven, gently rapping, there is a goat, intently ramming.

The goat has no goals, no poetry to read. He just wants in. And nothing will stand in his way.

And then the fear returns.