Wright-Way Rescue
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August 22, 2018 12:08 PM

Bruno the cat is full-figured, right down to his “thicc” polydactyl paws — and people across the Interwebs cannot get enough of him. Luckily, there’s a lot of him to go ’round.

The 7-year-old, 25-lb. rescue cat with the smokey gray coat and totally boss posture was given up to Wright-Way Rescue in Morton Grove, Illinois, back in April.

“Bruno was surrendered to Wright-Way from his previous owner in Southern Illinois. They had him since he was a kitten, but sadly he didn’t mesh very well with the kids in the home. It was a very hard decision for them since he is such a special cat,” Jacoby Andrick, Director of Marketing and Communications for Wright-Way Rescue, tells PEOPLE.

Wright-Way Rescue

Bruno’s high maintenance habits just weren’t the best match for a family with small children, however plenty of admirers across the Internet were more than a little obsessed with the very big tomcat. His photos went viral both on Facebook and Twitter and applications poured in from across the country, even Canada and Australia.

“Bruno is a goofy feline that keeps everyone laughing,” says Andrick. Sometimes he even stands on his hind legs — for 20 minutes at a time!

“I like when you scratch the sides of my face and neck. I like to be pet on the top of my head and spine only. I know my tummy is so tempting to touch, but I would prefer if you didn’t. I may swat my hand and pretend to bite if you do,” says Bruno in a post on Facebook. “I like to talk to you….a LOT. Be prepared for a chatty kitty! I have a couple quirky traits too….For one, I like to stand on my hind legs! This usually happens when I want food. No, my foster parents did not teach me this. They are not sure how I learned. Second, I love to be pet while I eat.”

“I also drink a lot of water. I never drink the water in the kitchen where my food is. I only drink the water that was put in a completely different room,” he continues. “Yes, I know I am EXTRA.”

Despite the shelter’s best efforts, Bruno is quite the resourceful scavenger. When he’s out of his cage, he sneaks into other cats’ cages and eats their food. Wright-Way will miss him, but the staff is very pleased he’ll be going to a home where he can successfully adhere to a diet.

“We are excited to say that we’ve chosen his adopter! We hope to have him go home in the next day or two! Here he is reviewing adopters,” says Andrick of the photo below.

Wright-Way Rescue

Although Wright-Way reports that Bruno chose his new mama on Monday — a woman named Lauren Paris who declared her EXTRA, eternal love by serenading him on camera (“Gimme that fat cat!” she sings) — and goes home with her on Tuesday, the rescue has still arranged for a meet ‘n greet with the celebricat and his community of local admirers.

According to CBS 2 Chicago, “Gimme That Fat Cat,” was written by Paris’s friend Kathleen Gibson. Much like Bruno himself, the lyrics (and vocal delivery!) are impressive:

I didn’t think I could know a love like this

Wright Way Rescue please do what is right

I’ll give him the best furever home because

Bruno is the love of my life

Gimme that fat cat

All my love I’d give

Gimme that fat cat

I’m body PAWsative

Won’t pet him on the tummy

Cuz I know he don’t like that

I’ll let him meow and meow at me

My thick and chatty baby cat

Gimme that fat cat

I need to be his mom

Gimme that fat cat

I love a cat shaped like a blob

Real cats have curves

“[Lauren] is loved by everyone at Wright-Way Rescue and we know she will make an amazing mom to Bruno,” Andrick tells PEOPLE.

Bruno will stay in Chicago, and we hear his forever home is a beautiful apartment with amazing views of the city. Fans can continue to follow his story on his new Instagram account @TheeBrunoBartlett.

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