YouTuber Myka Stauffer Reveals Adoption Dissolution 2 Years After Welcoming Son Home from China
"Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500 percent," Myka Stauffer said in a YouTube video
Editor's Note: Myka Stauffer and her husband James are seeking an adoption dissolution so their son Huxley can be placed with a new family. This story has been edited to eliminate the word "rehome," which was not a word Stauffer has used to describe the process.
YouTuber Myka Stauffer and her husband James have announced that they have decided to place their son Huxley, whom they adopted two and a half years ago, with a new family.
The couple welcomed the now-4½-year-old little boy, who was later diagnosed with autism, through an adoption from China in October 2017.
"Once Huxley came home, there was a lot more special needs that we weren't aware of, and that we were not told," James said in a video shared on Tuesday.
"For us, it's been really hard hearing from the medical professionals, a lot of their feedback, and things that have been upsetting," he continued. "We've never wanted to be in this position. And we've been trying to get his needs met and help him out as much as possible ... we truly love him."
"There's not an ounce of our body that doesn't love Huxley with all of our being," Myka, 32, tearfully added. "There wasn't a minute that I didn't try our hardest and I think what Jim is trying to say is that after multiple assessments, after multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit and that his medical needs, he needed more."
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"Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500 percent," Myka said, saying that Huxley was living with a "new mommy" in a "forever home."
"The last couple months have been like the hardest thing I could have ever imagined to going to choosing to do because ultimately, after pouring our guts and our heart into this little boy," she said. "He is thriving, he is happy, he is doing really well, and his new mommy has medical professional training, and it is a very good fit."
The couple asked their subscribers to honor their privacy and said that they wouldn't be going into further details about why they made the decision to place their son with another family.
In September, Myka shared a YouTube video to update her fans on Huxley's two-year adoption anniversary. She regularly documented their journey to adopt him, including monthly and yearly updates on their progress.
Myka, who has four other children, said in the update that Huxley enjoys helping his dad make coffee in the morning and spending time outside, and expressed delight at his developmental improvements over the past year.
By Wednesday, Myka had updated her Twitter bio to say she has four children.
Some viewers of the Stauffers were quick to express their outrage upon hearing that Huxley was placed with another family, with several Twitter users using the hashtag "cancel Myka Stauffer."
"So disgusting. If her biological kid gets diagnosed with autism will she abandon that kid too?" one Twitter user wrote while another said, "This is sickening. @MykaStauffer you should be ashamed and disgusted with yourself."
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Many of Myka's viewers pointed out that they would no longer be watching her family channel, while others criticized her for using Huxley in monetized content. (A Change.org petition was created demanding that the Stauffer family remove all monetized content of Huxley from YouTube.)
"Giving away one of my children isn't a viable option for me, though," wrote one Twitter user. "Surely there are better methods of managing the obligations you willingly accepted. Frankly, I'm not interested in any kind of advice from anyone who would do this."
"Okay but this myka stauffer stuff makes me really sad bc I've watched her since before she adopted Huxley and when I watched the video it made absolutely NO sense?" said another viewer on Twitter. "Your child was too hard to handle? So you ... gave him back? Like ... a gift receipt. That poor sweet thing."
While Myka was hit with a lot of criticism over the family's decision, she also received support from many viewers, like one who said she was "okay with" Huxley "going to a loving family to be and feel safe."
"I see people getting upset that she had him rehomed. And trust me I am there with you, he is a child who needs loved," the Facebook user wrote. "But after hearing these horror stories about kids being beat to death and held as hostages in their own homes, I'm okay with him going to a loving family to be and feel safe. Who knows what could have happened if they couldn't have the patience with him. Bless him."
"It was more than just autism and adhd And until you have had to take care of a special needs child how bout quit judging them," wrote another. "My mom passed and it was left up to me to take care of my special needs sister and believe it's not easy. And now ik just how strong my mom was to have done it on her own all these years. I'm glad they found him a family that could give him a better life than what they could."
"Before we attack this woman we don't know what the child needs were at home," a third woman wrote. "Some of these children that come from orphanages from overseas have severe behavioral issues. He could've been hurting her children doing stuff that we just don't know about. Sometimes that may mean putting him in an environment that is safe for him and safe for others. The child will thrive in a place better suited for him."
"It's not only because he has autism," another said on a separate Facebook post. " 'Once Huxley came home, there was a lot more special needs that we weren't aware of, and that we were not told,' It says. I do not know about his medical conditions and its theirs to keep it private if they want for The sake of his privacy."