"People lined the halls to pay their respects to our little hero and then we said the hardest goodbye of our lives," the YouTuber said of the honor walk for 3-month-old Crew

By Ashley Boucher
December 30, 2019 08:57 PM
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Brittani Boren/ Instagram; GoFundMe

Brittani Boren Leach’s son Crew’s organs have been donated, three days after he passed away.

The 29-year-old YouTuber announced on Monday that the hospital held an honor walk for her 3-month-old son, who died on Friday after being found unresponsive while napping on Christmas Day.

“Our sweet Crew went to be with Jesus today. I rode on the bed with him to the O.R, with Jeff walking beside me as the surgical team pushed us through the halls,” Leach wrote, alongside an illustration of Jesus and her baby boy. “People lined the halls to pay their respects to our little hero and then we said the hardest goodbye of our lives.”

The internet personality said earlier on Monday that the honor walk would be held at noon CST, and said on Sunday that Crew’s organs could “potentially save 3 to 4 babies lives.”

“I’m not very good with words right now, because my heart hurts and I’m angry,” Leach continued, saying that while she is grateful for the outpouring of support, it still “hurts” her that her son’s story has gone so public.

“Crew’s Story has reached masses, and it selfishly hurts me that it has. I’m thankful for all the love and support that we have been shown, but please keep in mind that we can see your comments, questions and conversations with one another. Put yourself in our shoes(which is impossible to do) and ask yourself If you’d want to read what you’re about to write or say.”

“Right now Crew is dancing and playing in Heaven with Jeff’s brother, great grandparents, a little brother I never met, and some very special little boys,” she continued. “And one day we hope we to meet the 3 or 4 little lives that he has saved. But right now there’s a big hole in my heart and my arms feel empty. Please continue to pray for our strength in coming hours, days, weeks and years.”

Leach has been walking her Instagram followers through her tragic weekend and opened up about her grief.

“It’s all just too much. All of it. I know God has a plan for this, but I’m really really mad at him right now,” she wrote on Instagram on Sunday. “I cry behind the bathroom door while Jeff holds me, because in the room over everyone else gets to laugh and go on with their lives, and it makes me so angry.”

She continued, “Running tests on my sons body to see how his organs are functioning before they take them. Pumping breastmilk just to pour it down the drain. Hearing a baby cry. Seeing a baby his age. Shopping Nordstrom for the dress I’ll wear to my son’s funeral. It’s all too much. I’m sorry to vent, but this is my heart. And I need all the prayers to get through this.”

A GoFundMe campaign for the Leach family has raised $115,000 as of Monday evening.