"I felt really alone because I was glad. And I felt like I was wrong for feeling that way," admits Olivia Plath

Advertisement

Olivia Plath is opening up about a private part of her past — the miscarriage she previously suffered.

The Welcome to Plathville star, who tied the knot with husband Ethan Plath in October 2018, experienced the pregnancy loss "a little while back," she reveals in a PEOPLE exclusive clip of Tuesday's episode.

"I know the topic of miscarriage is something that's like, super personal and affects a lot of people and people feel very differently. But I also think there's a stigma around it and there's not a lot of freedom to talk about it," says Olivia, 23.

"I know when I went through a miscarriage, I felt really alone because I was glad," she admits. "And I felt like I was wrong for feeling that way and I wish I'd had more people to talk to who could've been a sounding board or who could've had a different perspective, maybe than what I was raised with."

The revelation to viewers is made during a vulnerable discussion with Ethan's younger sister Moriah, who like Olivia, was raised in a conservative home where the subject of sex was taboo.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Welcome to Plathville
Credit: TLC

"Growing up in the conservative circle, you're kind of just taught that like, it's a terrible thing," Moriah, 18, says to Olivia about sex. "And it's like, you just don't do it — you don't sleep with somebody."

"Or if you do, you're tainted," adds Olivia, "and no one else is going to want you because you're not whole anymore."

Similar to her boyfriend Max, Moriah says she wasn't given "details" about sex growing up since it was considered to be a "shameful topic."

"I just remember, and Max and I have shared this — like, we both had the exact same experience. The parents will say, 'Don't sleep with people. Like, don't sleep with your boyfriend.' And then you think like, you see somebody fall asleep on the couch with somebody, like, they're just taking a nap and you're like, 'Oh, they're going to get pregnant! It's so sinful.' But there wasn't any like, details. Nobody explained the details just 'cause it's like, a shameful topic, and I don't get that."

Olivia then asks Moriah if she has found a "good birth control," which the teen confirms.

Welcome to Plathville
Credit: TLC

Like Moriah, Olivia previously used birth control, but went off of it after not feeling like herself. It was then that she got pregnant and subsequently had a miscarriage.

"I tried and I felt awful. My hormones were like, up and down and I got so moody. So I decided to go off it," Olivia explains of her experience.

"When I did go off birth control I did get pregnant, a little while back," she says to Moriah, who had previously spoken to Olivia about the miscarriage. "And I miscarried."

Though she and Ethan do hope to have children someday down the road, Olivia didn't feel ready at the time to welcome a baby into the world.

Olivia Plath and Ethan Plath2
Ethan and Olivia Plath
| Credit: Olivia Plath/ instagram

"Like, I felt bad for being relieved, but I was so relieved because it was like, a wake-up call of like, 'I'm not ready to have a kid. I don't want a kid,' " says Olivia.

Similar to his wife, "when I told him about everything that was going on with the miscarriage, Ethan was just as relieved as me," Olivia says.

Speaking with PEOPLE in December, Olivia — who is in both individual therapy and couples therapy with Ethan — opened up about not yet feeling ready to have children.

"Ethan and I both love kids. We're both from large families, and we would definitely love to have a couple of kids. I think our ideal would be to have a few of our own and then adopt a few. But I also know that in many ways, we're not ready for kids and the fact that we need to heal and process our own childhoods before we bring another child into the world," she said.

"I'm currently in therapy. I started again last month, just realizing that I was not in a healthy place and I needed to work through things. And I think maybe once we've gone through some therapy, we feel like we've processed our childhoods and we're ready to not just react when we have our own kids, but actually like, take positive steps for a better childhood for them," she explained. "And maybe once we've seen a little bit more of the world and made a couple more memories, I think maybe we'd be ready for a couple of kids."

Added Olivia: "A couple of years down the road. We're not in a rush."

Welcome to Plathville airs Tuesdays (10 p.m. ET) on TLC.