Tori Spelling Says Son Beau Is the 'Symbol' of Her 'Rebuilt' Marriage to Dean McDermott

"He's the first baby out of all five that we're raising him in a communicative way," Tori Spelling told PEOPLE on Saturday

7th Annual Santa's Secret Workshop Benefiting LA Family Housing
Photo: Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Tori Spelling‘s 9-month-old son Beau Dean is pulling double duty.

Not only is the infant the youngest of Spelling and husband Dean McDermott‘s five kids, he’s become a “symbol” for a new phase of the couple’s marriage.

“I feel like Beau is really the pillar of the rebirth of our relationship because our relationship had to crumble for it to be rebuilt and it was really important that we just start it over,” Spelling told PEOPLE at the 7th annual Santa’s Secret Workshop event in Los Angeles on Saturday.

She continued, “I think Beau is a symbol of that because he’s the first baby out of all five that we’re raising in a communicative way.”

7th Annual Santa's Secret Workshop Benefiting LA Family Housing
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

RELATED VIDEO: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott Share a Sweet Family Outing with All 5 of Their Kids

Spelling and McDermott — who wed in May 2006 —are also parents to Finn Davey, Hattie Margaret, Stella Doreen and Liam Aaron. And while the mom of five once raved about her effortless relationship with McDermott, she admitted that things have certainly changed over the years.

“I look back and I remember doing interviews probably seven years ago … I was like, ‘It’s easy, we don’t have to work at it. We have this great marriage,’ ” she recalled.

“Eleven years later, I’m like, ‘It’s a lot of work.’ It takes work and I took that for granted — I think we both did. We thought, ‘Oh, our relationship just works,’ and the truth is, no relationship just works.”

In spite of their troubled past, Spelling said there has been a silver lining to it all. “I really feel like I found my voice in the relationship,” she explained. “It was really empowering for me because my whole life I grew up and I never talked about my feelings … so I carried that into my relationship.”

Tori Spelling Instagram

The former 90210 actress jokingly added, “Now I talk too much about my feelings, but it’s so much better to talk about stuff.”

Another thing the parents are working on? Sleep training son Beau.

“He has sleep regression,where he was sleeping through the night and now he’s not. He’s up like three times a night,” Spelling said, adding of her and McDermott’s tag-team approach, “We’re both so sleep deprived, he sleeps in the middle of us and Dean’s like, ‘Oh my gosh, I think we would not have had this many kids if they had all slept in the bed.’ ”

RELATED VIDEO: Why Tori Spelling Went with a ‘Chic and Elevated’ Nursery Design for Her Son Beau

Although McDermott has never been a fan of co-sleeping with the kids — “He’s like, ‘I feel like there has got to be husband and wife time,’ ” said Spelling — the couple can’t help but spoil their last baby a bit.

“He was always adamant so with this last one I was like, he’s coming in bed!” she said. “He is the last one so he’s getting the baby treatment.”

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