"I'm scared of screwing up my kids. I thought that once we were out of the baby stage, parenting would be a breeze," the actress, 38, tells Parenting's October issue.

By peoplestaff225
Updated December 02, 2020 02:21 PM
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It didn’t take much to convince Tori Spelling that the grass was not necessarily greener on the other side of toddlerhood.

“I’m scared of screwing up my kids. I thought that once we were out of the baby stage, parenting would be a breeze,” the actress, 38, tells Parenting‘s October issue, which features her family dressed for Halloween.

“You just feel at every turn like, whoa, am I making the right decisions, setting the right boundaries?”

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One of the greatest challenges Spelling finds herself facing is the constant guilt trip of managing motherhood with work commitments.

“There are days when I struggle with wanting to be a full-time, stay-at-home mom, and feeling guilty about that because I work,” she admits. “[One mom at school recently said,] ‘Oh, you never go to anything.’ That hit me really hard.”

Expecting her third child with Dean McDermott next month, Spelling — already mom to Liam Aaron, 4, and Stella Doreen, 3 — has also learned to juggle the role of stepmother to her husband’s son Jack, 12.

“I have a good relationship with my stepson, Jack,” she says. “The most important thing I learned was to make sure Jack knew I was never going to try to take his mom’s place or be his mother.”

Although her children are still young, Spelling finds herself thinking of their future — and hoping they avoid the same mistakes their mother, who once “held everything in emotionally,” made in her earlier years.

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“I wasn’t truly comfortable with myself until I was about 30. I spent so much time and energy wondering if I wasn’t worthy, and trying to find people to validate me, instead of validating myself,” she shares.

“When I think of what my greatest wish for my kids is, it’s for them to know who they are, and be proud and confident, before 30.”

Now, with a strong sense of self, the reality star finds herself looking to only one person when it comes to parenting advice: herself.

“I don’t have many mommy role models … and I’m glad,” Spelling reveals.

“I used to be obsessed with what other moms would do, but listening to your maternal instincts is always the right decision.”

— Anya Leon