Tess Holliday Shares Throwback Breastfeeding Photo and Admits She 'Was an Emotional Mess' During Early Days of Motherhood

"Life is messy, love is complicated," mom of two Tess Holliday wrote on Instagram

Photo: Tess Holliday/Instagram

Time makes all the difference.

Model Tess Holliday is reflecting on the early days after her second son, Bowie Juniper, was born last year – and how she grappled with the fears that come with motherhood.

Posting a photo of herself breastfeeding to Instagram on Tuesday, Holliday wrote that coming across the September image on her phone gave her “so many feels.”

Holliday said that the picture was taken during a “dark time” in her life, explaining, “I was an emotional mess + struggling to find my way as a new mom again.”

“When I looked at this photo a wave of sadness poured over me, but now I only see my tiny bubs nursing & Sweetie looking on like a nervous new mom,” she added. “Life is messy, love is complicated, & it can all feel so overwhelming but we grow & learn.”

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The 31-year-old said, “I’m so grateful for my life & appreciate it all, even if I can’t always see the light at the end… it’s there. Promise.”

Baby Bowie – her son with fiancé Nick Holliday – is now 10-months-old. Holliday is also mom to older son, Rylee, 11, from a previous relationship.

Holliday makes a habit of being candid and honest about motherhood on social media.

Last December, she admitted to her followers, “Each day feels like a battle to learn how to love my body postpartum.”

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“It’s been six months, and my stomach is lower, my breasts are a different shape, [I have] new stretch marks, and I feel like a stranger in my body more than ever,” Holliday said.

“I’m not used to looking in the mirror and feeling like I don’t recognize myself, but sadly that’s my reality some days. I debated on whether or not to post this, but I think it’s important to be honest about what it’s like to be a woman in the media who recently had a baby, and the pressure that’s put on new moms to ‘lose the baby weight.’ “

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