"I think the only way to truly view the world with 'no filter' is to use your eyes and not your phone," Siri Daly writes in her first blog for PEOPLE
Please give a warm welcome to our newest celebrity blogger, Siri Daly!
Siri is a mom to three kids with husband Carson Daly: daughters London Rose, 3½, and Etta Jones, 5½, plus son Jackson James, 9. She was a television writer and producer before becoming a stay-at-home mom.
The decision to write about food on her blog Siriously Delicious was a no-brainer; aside from parenting, food has always been Siri’s passion. In her debut cookbook, also titled Siriously Delicious (available April 17), she shares a collection of triumphs and mistakes, plus simple, delicious recipes for people who love food.
Siri, 37, regularly appears on the TODAY show alongside her husband, oftentimes for a segment called “Dining with the Dalys.”
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We’ve all done it — entered the Instagram black hole. You start with a friend, which leads you to a friend of a friend, then to a celebrity, which brings you to that famous person’s hairdresser and suddenly you know way too much about a stranger from Texas. She ate avocado toast for breakfast!
You start to wonder, “How did I get here? Why have I wasted so many minutes of my life staring at photos that mean nothing to me?” And here’s the worst realization: “Why do I feel bad about my own life? I ate a Girl Scout cookie for breakfast, after all.”
There’s no denying that social media has changed our world. We’ve become accustomed to capturing our daily routines and posting them, all while carefully curating the images to show what we want to show. (Does anyone actually believe the “no filter” hashtag?) The whole thing feels incredibly real and incredibly fake at the same time.
For example, I used to follow this mom blogger who takes the most beautiful photos of her children. They’re always smiling, booger-free, in clothes that match and involved in some crafty activity. She’s often photographed with them, looking so put together, lipstick and all.
I would stare at these photos, my face would fall and icky thoughts would ensue:
- It would have taken me 47 minutes to stage this photo.
- Did she bribe her kids with chocolate to get those smiles? Do only I do that?
- My kids don’t craft enough. Ugh … paint and glitter.
- I should probably wear lipstick. Or maybe shower?
- This can’t be real life.
- I’m the worst mom on the planet.
In case you didn’t notice, those are not happy thoughts.
It occurred to me that I was being judgmental – of others and myself – and that nothing about this use of social media was making me feel happy. What was the point? However, I believe in balance, so I knew quitting altogether wasn’t an option. Instead, I realized I needed to find my own community of “online moms.” This is when some friends and I decided to create the Instagram account Real Moms Wear Grey.
What does that mean? Are we literally always wearing grey? Well, no, not all the time — sometimes my socks are colorful. (I’m speaking for myself here, but my softest grey sweatshirt is like my “lovey” – I’ll throw a tantrum without it.) The idea behind it is that being a mom doesn’t always (or ever) feel glamorous.
Most days, thinking about you is pretty low on your list of priorities. Getting the kids up, cleaned, dressed and fed leaves us very little time to, say, brush our hair. Therefore, “grey” symbolizes a frame of mind, and not a depressing one — rather, a realistic one. Being a mom is incredibly fulfilling and incredibly draining. It’s encouraging and frustrating, it’s adorable and disgusting, it’s rewarding and thankless. Our goal with RMWG was to celebrate the highs, the lows and everything in between. You know, that grey area.
Most importantly, with every daily emotion, I wanted us to feel less alone. So throughout the day, if people use the hashtag “#RealMomsWearGrey,” I will re-post the images. I wanted people to look at a photo and think, ‘Been there.’ And even if we haven’t been specifically there, we can relate to the struggles of being a parent.
It has helped me tremendously to realize I’m not the only one who finds Goldfish in her shoes, drinks wine during bath time or hides from her family in a closet to eat dessert at the end of the day. Now that I have this community, social media provides me with a daily source of sanity versus sadness.
Still, I could probably use a step back from it all. As a mother, nothing is worse than hearing the words, “Mom, put your phone down.” They might as well be saying, “Can you please pay attention to me? Because I’m doing something adorable and you’re missing it, and soon I’ll be 18 and gone forever.”
That may sound dramatic, but I think the only way to truly view the world with “no filter” is to use your eyes and not your phone. As with everything in life that is good and bad at the same time – ahem, wine – proceed with caution … in your best grey sweats.