By peoplestaff225
Updated November 17, 2008 07:00 PM

Charley Gallay/Getty

With the holidays just around the corner, Reese Witherspoon is getting ready to share her traditions with her children — and like any divorced parent, share custody of her kids with her ex, Ryan Phillippe, as well. "I think the most important thing is to be a grownup," she told reporters in Beverly Hills on Sunday while promoting her film Four Christmases, "andnot let any kind of feelings affect how you deal with your children."

Reese and Ryan, who split in November of 2006 and finalized their divorce in June, have by all accounts done a good job of raising Ava Elizabeth, 9, and Deacon Reese, 5, out of the spotlight and in loving, well-adjusted homes. "I’m very lucky in that we raise our kids to just be happy," theactress, 32, shared. "I thinkthe most important thing is the children. What do they want, what makesthem feel comfortable?"

Though Reese says she still has "a lot of communication" with Ryan, the actress is honest about the trials of their marriage. "I [had] a certain idea what I thought marriage gives," she shared. "But sometimes it doesn’t work out that way so you have to be opento whatever comes your way in life. Love and relationships take allkinds of shapes and it’s not necessarily the ones you recognize."

As for motherhood, Reese knows that it is a learning process, too, just like marriage. "When I first held my baby, Ava, [that] was the first time I’d everheld a baby in my life," she said. "So I understand that sort of fearor not being a good mom. It took me a long time to feel reallycomfortable in the role of being a mother."

Four Christmases, which is ironically about how blended families deal with the holidays, opens November 26th.