"I was like, if I can't handle the swab going up my nose, how am I gonna have an unmedicated childbirth?" the Married at First Sight alum said
Jamie Otis
Credit: Jamie Otis/instagram

Jamie Otis is feeling emotional amid the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.

On Wednesday, the Married at First Sight alum, 33, got candid about what’s it like being 37 weeks pregnant during the health crisis, breaking down in tears in an Instagram video after getting tested for COVID-19 under the recommendation of her doctor.

“I feel really, really ridiculous. I’m crying like all the time these days. I feel so silly,” she says in the video filmed in the car. “I don’t know why, but I’m genuinely just so nervous.”

Otis said she started doubting herself after getting the coronavirus test, which typically involved medical professionals taking nose and throat swabs from the patient.

“Just the swab — I mean, that hurt really bad,” she shared through tears. “I was like, if I can’t handle the swab going up my nose, how am I gonna have an unmedicated childbirth? I think I’m just a little overwhelmed that I feel so annoyed at myself for being such a wimp about this.”

Jamie Otis
Jamie Otis
| Credit: Jamie Otis/instagram

Otis, who shares 2½-year-old daughter Henley Grace with husband Doug Hehner, then expresses her worries of “annoying” her family with her emotions, telling fans, “I’m impatient. I don’t know how to reset my brain so I can just chill the F out.”

“This is not how I want to behave or how I want to feel going into delivering my baby,” she continues. “Gosh, this is a nightmare.”

However, Otis says she is trying to “stay positive” amid the outbreak.

“I’m trying to meditate. I’m trying to think happy thoughts,” she shares, before taking a deep sigh. “I don’t know how to calm my brain and be just a positive, happy person. I am so fortunate that I am able to stay home and quarantine, and I’m lucky that I have a low-risk pregnancy so I’m able to do a home birth. I know all these things and I’m trying to be thankful for that.”

“I feel very embarrassed,” the mom adds. “I just feel very annoying and a wimp because other women have it so much worse than I do, and here I am whining over just everything.”

Otis ended the clip by apologizing to viewers, telling followers that she’ll “get it together” soon.

“I had planned on taking my weekly bump pic and CELEBRATING the fact that I’m full term but honestly, right now I’m in such an emotional rut & smiling for a cutesy pic is the last thing on my mind,” she captioned the candid video. “I dont wanna pretend I’m all happy-go-lucky over here when I’m a complete MESS.⁣”

“I’m embarrassed to admit it & I feel *so* annoying to even be concerned about anything!” she continued. “I’m so fortunate that I have a HEALTHY rainbow baby who is FULL TERM! (I’ve been holding my breath this whole pregnancy)🙏🏻 I am the LUCKY one who gets to stay home and quarantine while others have to go out and risk their lives to help those who are sick.⁣”

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As a labor and delivery nurse, Otis went on to show her appreciation for those working on the frontlines of the coronavirus, writing, “Honestly, I’m an RN and should be out there helping too but instead I’m safe inside. Which I justify with being pregnant but there are *so many* pregnant women going into the battle zone daily! They’re the real heroes!!!!⁣

“I know there are signs on the roads and you probably see it all the time that we at home are thankful for you – but I hope you genuinely *know* each time you gown up, get your masks & gloves on & walk into work WE AT HOME WHO ARE SAFE AND PROTECTED ARE SO *THANKFUL* for you and we applaud you!!🙏🏻👏🏻”

Jamie Otis, Doug Hehner and daughter Henley Grace
| Credit: Jamie Otis/Instagram

Otis told PeopleTV earlier this month that she and Hehner, 36, chose to have a home birth for their son on the way because “the pros outweighed the cons.”

“You learn in nursing school that the safest place is the hospital to have a baby because then they have everything there handy, God forbid [an emergency] happens last minute,” noted Otis.

Hehner said the couple “did a ton of research” on home birth before making their decision, explaining, “The fact that I may or may not be able to be a support person at the delivery in the hospital [and] what do we do with our daughter if I can’t leave the hospital? At least with our house, we know it’s a more controlled environment.”

Otis has experienced several health-related concerns throughout her pregnancy. The former reality star revealed in December that she had been diagnosed with human papillomavirus (HPV), but would “have to wait to biopsy my cervix until after I have the baby.”

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