Pregnant Astrid Loch Says She's 'Scared to Lose Control' as She Prepares to Welcome First Baby

In a candid blog for PEOPLE, Bachelor in Paradise alum Astrid Loch opens up about coming to terms with "officially losing control" when she soon welcomes her first baby with Kevin Wendt

Astrid Loch and Kevin Wendt Maternity
Photo: Jeremy Dupont

Astrid Loch and Kevin Wendt met on season 5 of Bachelor in Paradise and announced their engagement in August 2019, later revealing on Mother's Day 2021 that they are expecting their first baby together after a long journey to conception.

In her third blog for PEOPLE, Loch discusses her pregnancy journey as it comes to an end and reveals the first photos of her nursery.

When we first found out we were expecting, 40 weeks seemed like an eternity, but as my due date approaches — we're literally days away — those three trimesters no longer seem like enough time to get prepared for everything.

Nesting has been in full force in the Wendt household: from reorganizing the entire kitchen, getting the guest room ready for the grandparents, unboxing and putting all of the baby things together (often incorrectly on the first try), it's been go, go, go this last month.

I really never felt anxious throughout my pregnancy until I hit week 36. Once I hit that point, it felt like I was racing against time and every time I got something crossed off my to-do list I'd remember five more things I needed to do. These last two weeks especially have left me being not-so-pleasant to be around and I think a big part of that has been the realization that I'm officially losing control any day now.

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For 39 weeks now I've been in charge. I controlled what baby and I ate, when we rested, when we went to our appointments, and when it was time for us to move. My baby has been safe inside of me growing the last 39 weeks and any day now I'm losing that safety and that's a very scary thing for me to wrap my head around.

I should clarify and mention that I'm beyond ready to not be pregnant anymore though. My back is killing me ALL DAY, I'm barely sleeping, I have to relieve my bladder constantly, and my feet and hands are swollen to the point where it hurts sometimes. To sum it up, pregnancy is a bitch at the end BUT you still have control.

Ultimately though, as much as I don't want to lose this control I'm so ready to meet our little one. To see their face for the first time, to find out if they're a boy or girl, to see Kevin finally get to touch and feel our baby the way I have been the last nine months. So yes, I'm scared to lose control but I know whatever awaits me on the other side will be so much better.

And as much as I feel unprepared, and like I still have a million things to do, my friends who already have kids keep reminding me that I'm more than ready. Our hospital bags are packed, the bassinet is set up, the car seat is installed, and the nursery is done thanks to some amazing people at West Coast Kids.

Kevin's mom keeps telling me to relax and take it easy these last few days so I'll do my best and will try and spend as much time in the nursery soaking up the peace and quiet. It's quickly become my favorite room in the house and I'll share some pictures with you all because let's be real … this is the cleanest it will ever be.

Wish me luck and I can't wait for us all to meet baby Wendt.

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