“I am not in perfect shape. In fact, I’m softer than I’ve ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot,” she says in a profile she wrote herself in the April issue of Shape, on newsstands now.
“The photos of me in this magazine have been generously constructed to show my best angles, and I assure you, good lighting has been warmly embraced. The truth is, I’m a mother, and I look like one.”
Wilde, 31, who is engaged to Jason Sudeikis, is unapologetic about the transformation her body has gone through and doesn’t mind sharing very intimate details about the first few weeks after delivery.
“First of all, you haven’t seen your vagina in months, even though it’s all her fault you’re in this situation,” she writes. “Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn’t the gal that you remember, and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being, thank you very much.”
The actress says she does find time to exercise — she prefers 2Fly, a dance fitness workout taught by her sister-in-law Kristin Sudeikis — but admits she also likes pizza and beer. “And these two ingredients are not found in the purely fictional book I like to call How to Look Like You Never Made a Human: A Guide to Socially Acceptable Motherhood,” she adds.
“I believe in a world where mothers are not expected to shed any physical evidence of their child-bearing experience,” Wilde says. “In that same world I believe there is space for exercise to be as much a gift to your brain as it is your body. I don’t want to waste my time striving for some subjective definition of perfection.”
— Sheila Cosgrove Baylis