Celebrity Parents Mina Starsiak Hawk Reflects on Welcoming Daughter Charlie After Losing Sister-in-Law Stefanie "Stef's gone, but I see her every day... and for that I am so grateful," she says By Benjamin VanHoose Published on January 4, 2021 02:42 PM Share Tweet Pin Email Mina Starsiak Hawk is reflecting on a challenging 2020, the year she welcomed her second child after the loss of her sister-in-law. The Good Bones star, 33, mourned the unexpected death of her husband's sister Stefanie Hawk in March 2020. Months later, in September, Starsiak Hawk welcomed her second child with husband Steve Hawk, daughter Charlotte "Charlie" Drew. The HGTV personality, who is also mom to son Jack Richard, 2, says she sees Stefanie in Charlie every day. "I'm sitting in Charlie's nursery, rocking her. Going through old pictures & peoples posts about 2020, for better or worse.... and thinking about ours," she began a lengthy Instagram caption on Sunday, sharing a gallery of photos featuring Stefanie. "Right as Covid hit hard, we lost Stef; way too young, far too soon for what I needed her for and far to soon for what my family needed her for," continues Starsiak Hawk. "She was a bright light for us in a time she herself didn't see much light. Losing her parents, Rick and Sally, affected her deeply. It did all of us, but Stef in particular." Starsiak Hawk says she's "both eternally grateful for 2020 while on the other hand, hate it for all it took from my family and this world." "It took Stef. And our ability to come together as a family to share our love for her as she so deserved," she says, referring to the pandemic forcing them to postpone any funeral arrangements. "It took the joy from my husband that he had just managed to find again after losing his parents. Every celebration had a dark shadow over it, unable to forget the people not present. It took so much from so many people." Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Mina Starsiak-Hawk's late sister-in-law Stefanie. Mina Starsiak-Hawk/Instagram Good Bones' Mina Starsiak Hawk Introduces Newborn Daughter Charlie to 2-Year-Old Son Jack "But, it gave us Charlie," she adds. "And every time I look at her I see Stef, for better or for worse. Some days it makes me cry and some days it's the bright light in a really s----y moment. Stef's gone, but I see her every day... and for that I am so grateful." "2020 challenged us all in so many ways," says Starsiak Hawk. "I've always said growing up, I'd never change a thing, not an experience.... not even the s----y ones bc then I wouldn't be who I am; I wouldn't have met my husband and had my beautiful kids. But I think that's also just the right thing to say whether or not you believe it, bc you can't change any of it." "So, for better or worse, I wouldn't change a thing this past year. And I'm just going to keep saying it until I believe it again."