Mina Starsiak Says Good Bones' Mother's Day Episode 'Sucks to Watch' Due to Fertility Struggles
"No one wants to see anyone cry, but I'm glad I did that," Mina Starsiak Hawk tells PEOPLE of documenting the emotions behind her IVF journey on Good Bones
The Good Bones star recently chatted with PEOPLE about her road to conceiving her baby on the way with husband Steve Hawk, as well as one part of her hit HGTV series' upcoming fifth season that "kind of sucks to watch" back considering her difficult experience with in vitro fertilization (IVF).
"In the Mother's Day special, it had the scene where our doctor told us we could only probably have another kid with an egg donor," says Starsiak Hawk, 35. "And afterwards I took that video in my car where I'm crying and I didn't want to do that then at all. But I was like, 'I'm not emotional. I'm not emotional in public.' I just don't do that."
But she felt like it was necessary to document her real feelings both on social media and in the new season of Good Bones, for transparency's sake and because she didn't want to "look like a freaking robot talking about this later, because that's just how I deal with stuff."
"My dad texts me and he was crying because I was crying and I got a lot of texts, but that was challenging," adds the mom-to-be. "I mean, no one wants to see anyone cry, but I'm glad I did that."
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The home renovation pro tells PEOPLE that she and Hawk will "eventually" reveal their baby's sex, but they've already decided on a name regardless of whether they have a daughter or another son.
"Our name is very gender neutral," Starsiak Hawk says. "Our name for a boy or a girl is actually the same: It's Charlie Drew. We really like Charlie because it is unisex."
Drew, the reality star explains, was chosen in honor of "my husband's best friend that passed away I think six years ago now ... and we've always thought whether we have a boy or a girl we'd like to incorporate his name in some way."
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"If I wanted to not be available, I would not be for six to eight weeks. But as you could see from season 4, I'm there with Jack and he's like 2 weeks old," she tells PEOPLE. "They're planning for me to take time off if I want to, but it's just not really in my DNA. I'm sure I'll will not be filming as much, but I'm not the type that can just completely step away for two months. I will go crazier than if I kept working a little bit."
As for Jack, Starsiak Hawk thinks there will be "an adjustment" of him not being the only child anymore once his baby brother or sister arrives, but she isn't worried about how he will be as a big brother in the long run.
"There's two kids next door and a kid across the street. They're all his age and they're all girls and they run him ragged," she jokes. "I think as far as the sharing and playing with other kids and stuff, he's got a pretty good idea of that, so hopefully it won't be too traumatic for him."
Good Bones season 5 premieres Tuesday at 9 p.m. ET on HGTV.