"I found it debilitating. I found it mentally, emotionally, physically debilitating," Meghan McCain says of her miscarriage on this week's episode of PEOPLE's podcast Me Becoming Mom
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John McCain Meghan McCain
Sen. John McCain and Meghan McCain
| Credit: Heidi Gutman/Walt Disney Television via Getty

Meghan McCain is looking back on her experience with pregnancy loss.

In a new episode of PEOPLE's podcast Me Becoming Mom, the 37-year-old speaks candidly about her previous miscarriage, sharing that she believes her baby is "with my dad [Sen. John McCain] in the afterlife or in heaven."

"It's still emotional. I still think of it as the baby I could've had. It's very sad," she tells host Zoë Ruderman, Head of Digital at PEOPLE.

"The only thing that gives me peace and solace... I feel like that child is with my dad in the afterlife or in heaven. And for whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be here at that time," she explains. "But it's very hard."

"I found it debilitating. I found it mentally, emotionally, physically debilitating," McCain adds of her miscarriage, which she first publicly revealed in a New York Times op-ed in July 2019. "I found the process of having a miscarriage, like the physical process of it, grueling. And then having to have a D&C afterward, horrific."

Subscribe to our new 12-episode weekly podcast, Me Becoming Mom, to hear celebrity moms open up exclusively to PEOPLE about their extraordinary roads to motherhood.

McCain, who now is mom to 15-month-old daughter Liberty Sage with husband Ben Domenech, shared in the NYT op-ed that she had been pregnant with a daughter but subsequently suffered a miscarriage. She called the loss a "horrendous experience" at the time, adding that she "would not wish it upon anyone."

More than a year later, in September 2020, McCain and Domenech welcomed their first baby together.

Meghan McCain
Meghan Mccain
| Credit: Meghan McCain/Instagram

The 12-episode weekly Me Becoming Mom podcast explores the various roads to motherhood through different interviews with both celebrity guests and experts in the field. Topics on the show include IVF, adoption, surrogacy, single parenthood, same-sex couples, home births, pregnancy loss, unexpected and surprising birth stories, among other subjects.

Guests on the show include Allyson Felix, Hoda Kotb, Jillian Michaels, Shawn Johnson East and more.