Courtesy Marla Sokoloff
Thanks for welcoming our newest celebrity blogger, Marla Sokoloff!
Since audiences first got to know her at age 12 as Gia on Full House, Sokoloff has had many memorable TV roles — Jody on Party of Five, Lucy on The Practice, Claire on Desperate Housewives — as well as turns on the big screen in Whatever It Takes, Dude, Where’s My Car? and Sugar & Spice.
Sokoloff, 30, also sings and plays guitar and released an album, Grateful, in 2005.
You can find Marla, who’s now 25 weeks pregnant, on Twitter.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, I instantly felt different. Not physically different but mentally, I was in a newfound headspace. My brain was completely consumed with thoughts of BABY. (Let’s be honest — I had major baby brain way before that little stick told me I was pregnant!)
I knew our lives were going to change drastically, and I truly loved the thought of it. I walked around all day with a giant smile on my face, knowing I had this exciting secret.
The first four months were (thankfully) uneventful. I didn’t even have one second of morning sickness or nausea. I had the Preggie Pops and the Sea-Bands standing by, but they were never needed. (Ladies, don’t kill me — I have no idea how I got out of that one!)
I assumed the next few months were going to be filled with stretch mark and weight gain worries … when my pregnancy took a scary turn.
Around 17 weeks, I got a call from my doctor saying some of my second trimester blood work was looking a bit abnormal. Knowing that lots of women get a “false positive” on these tests, I tried to remain calm until further testing was done. (By calm, I mean hysterically crying until we got to the doctor’s office.)
The next morning, my husband and I sat in the genetic counselor’s office discussing our “options” if the test was in fact positive for a serious birth defect. They were throwing out everything from spina bifida to Down syndrome.
I was completely crushed. I was already so attached to my little girl. She has a name. I talk to her, I sing her songs … she has to be okay.
After a detailed ultrasound, our doctor recommended amniocentesis to investigate further. In that moment, I started to remember reading about amnios in all of my baby books. Wait — didn’t they say the needle was seven inches long?!
I squeezed my husband’s hand for dear life and prayed it would be over quickly. (The amnio wasn’t my favorite activity of all time — but I recommend closing your eyes and breathing as if labor has already started to ease the pain.)
As the nurse wiped the betadine off of my belly, I started to feel like I had been punched in the gut. My positive attitude that I tried so desperately to hold on to went flying out the window and was replaced with complete and utter fear.
The next few days were spent on the couch covered in tears. I literally couldn’t function. The thought of something being wrong with our baby was just too unbearable to even think about. The only thing in the world that I wanted was for this little girl to be okay. Nothing else mattered.
After 10 agonizing days, our amnio results came back showing a perfectly healthy little girl. The abnormal blood work was, in fact, a false positive. I took my first deep breath in almost two weeks and then returned to my oh-so-familiar state of hysterical crying. Only this time, they were happy tears.
Being pregnant has officially turned me into a worrywart. My first worry was, “Can I get pregnant?” The next was, “How can I keep baby safe in there?” The list can go on … if I allow it.
The complete lack of control hasn’t been easy for this control freak. Every day, I try my best to be calm and stay present — prenatal yoga has definitely helped me with that. I know that this little scare is just the first of many parent tests that we have coming our way!
Whenever I start to panic or veer off-track, I feel her little kick in my belly, and I know that’s her way of saying, “Mom relax … everything is going to be okay.”
Thanks for letting me share my story — would love to hear yours as well! Leave me a comment below (I’ve been reading them all!) or send me a Tweet @marlasok.
— Marla Sokoloff