"I get lost in the world of comparison," Fuller House star Marla Sokoloff admits in a new PEOPLE blog of her relationship with social media
Please welcome back celebrity blogger Marla Sokoloff!
Known for her roles as Cokie Mason in The Baby-Sitters Club movie, Lucy Hatcher on The Practice and bad girl Gia on Full House and Fuller House, Sokoloff is currently filming the latter’s third season.
The actress’s movie A Happening of Monumental Proportions is set to release in the near future, and she’s currently developing a film whose screenplay she wrote herself.
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Most nights, after I have put my littles to bed, caught up on all of the day’s events with my husband, cleaned my very messy kitchen, made school lunch for my 5-year-old, put my gym clothes out for the next morning, washed my face, brushed my teeth and cleaned the playroom (let’s be honest — I sometimes skip this step because really, why?), I crawl into my bed and become a social-media zombie for a solid 30 to 40 minutes before I drift off to sleep. (Yes, I know all about screen time before bed … but sleep and I are distant cousins these days anyway.)
I have no idea why I do it. It pretty much always makes me feel kind of terrible. I get lost in the world of comparison. I scroll though photos of moms doing it better, working full time and still finding the time to do every activity under the sun with their kids. Homes looking cleaner, larger and fantastically more decorated than mine, fitness bloggers eating healthier and flexing actual abdominal muscles, and by the end of my feed, it just really seems as if I’m lacking in all areas.
My 30 minutes of zoning out seem to always leave me with the feeling that I need to step things up in life, because everyone else on my feed appears to be killing the game.
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The truth is, I have a pretty fantastic life. I have an amazing husband whom I’ve been happily with for over 13 years, two incredible girls I’m beyond proud to say are all mine, complete with the sweetest little old-lady dog you have ever met. Also, a career that I truly love and have worked my tush off for for 25 years. I literally have nothing to complain about.
So why on Earth do I even allow myself to “feel the lack” (as my friend Stacy so perfectly calls it)? Is social media corrupting my brain into thinking my life just isn’t good enough? Will I ever sign on and allow myself to think that my clothes are just as stylish as the fashion influencer with 2 million followers? My guess is no, and that answer is really making me take a harder look at my nightly ritual.
I have to remind myself that just because my favorite blogger drove 45 minutes with her children to see wildflowers and visit the local organic ice-cream shop after does not mean that the outing was as fun as her perfectly filtered photo made it appear. I would bet that at least one of those kids cried more than once on that trip, and it’s fairly likely that someone got carsick. This realistic thought may pop into my head now, but while I’m in bed doubting my parenting skills for not visiting said flowers, I’m completely in awe of her weekend hustle!
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I am truly blown away by the moms who are taking their three different kids to four different activities while bringing a healthy snack for the whole softball team, all the while managing to post a picture where all of her kids are smiling and looking at the camera at the same time. I will 150 percent like and comment on that perfectly cropped photo, because you are beyond impressive!
Some nights, when I’m really feeling nuts, I make a list. This weekend, we are going to go to the wildlife zoo. Then we are going to go to the fire station so the girls can climb on the truck, or maybe they will let her shoot the hose like so-and-so’s son did on Facebook. (AMAZING photo opportunity!)
After that, we’re going to go to a local farm so the girls can each pick out a vegetable to cook for dinner. One quick picture of them “eating” it, and those likes and comments will make up for the fact that I really fed them their millionth grilled cheese for the week instead.
The weekend comes, and we are swamped. We are so busy, but guess what? We didn’t do any of those things. We did go to three birthday parties, went swimming, ran through the sprinklers and had family stay with us from out of town. We didn’t go to a farm, but we did go to the farmer’s market, where my kids got glitter tattoos and chocolate croissants the size of their heads.
We laughed, we cried, we hung out as a family, and there isn’t one picture to prove it. I have zero evidence of this fun-filled weekend, because at the time it seemed pretty uneventful — certainly not anything “post-worthy.”
No, we don’t have the biggest or fanciest house. My clothes aren’t high-fashion, my diet is somewhere between green juice and chocolate doughnut — and yes, as you read this, our playroom is a complete disaster.
But my heart is full. I feel no lack, for there just isn’t any room for me to foolishly have those thoughts as I am (as are you) truly the luckiest, no matter what that silly filtered screen may tell me.