Marla Sokoloff's Blog: Learning to Trust Myself (and Others)
"Obviously I am happy that she is growing up, but there is this intense sadness that is attached to it that I just can't seem to get past. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way," the actress writes.
Our celebrity blogger Marla Sokoloff is a new mama!
Since audiences first got to know her at age 12 as Gia on Full House, Sokoloff has had many memorable TV roles — Jody on Party of Five, Lucy on The Practice, Claire on Desperate Housewives – as well as turns on the big screen in Whatever It Takes, Dude, Where’s My Car? and Sugar & Spice.
Sokoloff, 31, also sings and plays guitar and released an album, Grateful, in 2005.
She wed her husband, music composer Alec Puro, in November 2009 and the couple — plus pup Coco Puro — make their home in Los Angeles.
You can find Marla, now mom to 9-month-old daughter Elliotte Anne, on Twitter.
My little bumblebee – Stacy Marble
Stop the presses … Elliotte Anne is officially on the move! She recently hit the big crawling milestone and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She had been showing signs of wanting to crawl for the past few months but just couldn’t seem to make the leap and then just like that, she turned into a total mover and a shaker.
She literally just wants to pull herself up on anything and everything that she can get her hands on. She also has developed a strong affinity for Coco Puro‘s doggie kibble. Let the baby-proofing begin!
I can hardly believe that in just three short months my little girl will be turning 1! Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was stressing over every single newborn trait that sent me into a complete panic? It really is crazy how fast this is all going … I truly can’t believe it.
A few weeks ago I found myself a sobbing mess as I packed up her 3-6 month clothes and placed them in the garage for her someday sister (brother that likes pink?) to wear. Obviously I am happy that she is growing up, but there is this intense sadness that is attached to it that I just can’t seem to get past.
Please tell me I’m not alone in feeling this way as I’m starting to feel like a real jerk for not wanting my kid to grow up!
Look who’s crawling – Courtesy Marla Sokoloff
I want to talk about something that’s been weighing heavily on me these past few weeks. You know how sometimes you read something or hear a haunting story on the news that you just can’t shake? A story that just seems so unfathomable and unreal that it leaves your entire being numb to the core — I have that feeling when I think about the Krim family and the recent tragedy that has completely changed their lives forever.
A mother (who is very much like me, and may very well be very much like you) leaves her children with someone that she trusts implicitly only to be met by her absolute worst nightmare. Two of her babies gone by the very hands that were supposed to be caring for them.
The complete horror and sadness is almost too much to bear, yet it is on my mind non-stop. Marina Krim is a virtual stranger to me, yet I have wept for her every day since the tragedy occurred.
If I let myself go there and imagine her grief for even one millisecond, my heart aches so badly that I do everything in my power to stop myself. Sadly, Marina Krim can’t make her aching heart stop and it never will.
A stay-at-home mom who even kept a blog about her beloved children is now left with just one child. How does she even begin to pick up the pieces of her new life? How does she go on for her surviving daughter Nessie?
Elliotte has teeth! – Courtesy Marla Sokoloff
On a daily basis we trust people with our children. Be it teachers, babysitters, nannies, family members or friends. We trust that while they are playing on the playground or involved in after-school activities — someone has caring eyes on them when we can’t be there. They say it takes a village to raise a child and we count on others to help protect our truest treasures.
I now fear that every time I leave my sweet Elliotte I will have that sinking feeling of doubt.
The Krim family reportedly took a vacation to visit their nanny’s family and was clearly very close with her — how are we to ever really know and trust the people we are leaving our children with? Is it realistic to think that we will be with our kids 100 percent of the time and never let them leave our side? Of course not. It is virtually impossible for us to watch over our little ones 24 hours a day.
As a new parent … it’s an unbelievably helpless feeling.
Marina, Kevin and Nessie — my thoughts and prayers are truly with you.
As per usual you can comment below or send me a Tweet @marlasok. Please be kind and refrain from judgment in regards to the Krim family when leaving your comments. Many thanks.
Puro family Halloween – Courtesy Marla Sokoloff
— Marla Sokoloff
P.S. In an effort to leave this blog on a positive note, my friend Dan Bucatinsky (you may know him as James from the hit TV show Scandal) has written a hilarious book, Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight? If you need a good laugh or a fantastic holiday read be sure to check it out!
More from Marla’s PEOPLE.com blog series:
- Marla Sokoloff’s Blog: Back In My Jeans … Seven Months Later
- Marla Sokoloff’s Blog: My Daughter Underwent Lung Surgery