February 16, 2015 01:20 PM

For Kristen Bell, delivering her second daughter Delta, 7 weeks, was a beautiful experience – what she remembers of it, at least.

Bell told Ellen DeGeneres Monday that an unexpected C-section meant she needed to have an epidural: “As someone who has never experimented with drugs, I really enjoyed it,” she joked. “While they were doing it, I was thinking, ‘What else could we get done down there?’ … Anything to keep the epidural flowing.”

But flow it did not, and Bell said she started “scratching her face … like a meth addict” when the medicine began to exit her system.

Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.

A nurse gave Bell, 34, some Benadryl to ease the transition back to sobriety, and the House of Lies star said the “cocktail” had some mind-altering effects: “Do you know what looks really good when you’re on that stuff? Hand bags. Or throw pillows or rugs. I was just like, ‘Internet shopping, woo!’ “

She continued, “Thank God I didn’t remember my credit card number. So nothing bad happened, but … honestly, a picture of a throw pillow was as mind-blowing as seeing The Matrix for the first time. That’s how I felt.”

Luckily, the story has a less wacky coda, noted Bell: “I’m happy to say I’m stone-cold sober today.”

And drugs aren’t the only thing the actress is done with — after welcoming Delta and big sister Lincoln, 22 months, Bell said she and husband Dax Shepard are finished having children.

“We don’t want to be outnumbered,” she explained. “We’re gonna cap it at two.”

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— Lanford Beard

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