September 12, 2017 12:00 PM

Jessica Biel knows life with a toddler is anything but glamorous.

The Sinner star stopped by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert this week, where she shared that she and husband Justin Timberlake are in the middle of their son Silas Randall‘s “terrible twos.”

“How many surfaces of your home are covered in what you hope is chocolate?” the host asked.

“Every square inch,” Biel, 35, replies with a laugh. “And if it’s not the hopeful chocolate, it’s stickers, and Play-Doh, and Gak, and crumbs and who knows. Everything is covered with everything.”

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And when she finally gets her child to sleep, the actress is not happy with anyone who makes noise that may rouse Silas from his slumber.

“God forbid they wake up in the middle of the night,” Biel says, joking, “You know, if you wake my kid up in the middle of the night by accident, you’re dead to me.”

Of course, it’s usually her partner’s rowdy friends who create a stir. “That’s right,” she jokes. “Not my friends. My friends are quiet, demure, modest. He’s a wild musician.”

Justin Timberlake/Instagram

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Stephen Colbert cautions that if she thinks 2-year-olds are bad, the 7th Heaven alum better brace for what’s coming next year.

“This is terrible, but I’ve heard so much about the ‘three-teens,’ ” Biel explains. “The 3-year-olds are called the ‘three-teens’ because they’re so insane that they’re just like having tiny teenagers, which is way worse than having big teenagers, I think.”

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As a parent, Biel knows how difficult a night out as a family can be. That’s why she is co-owner of a restaurant called Au Fudge in Los Angeles, where parents can enjoy a meal (and a trip to the bar) while their children hang out with an au pair in the restaurant’s “creative space.”

Though things are tough at this age, Biel has nothing but love for her son. “I mean, listen: It’s not all terrible, by the way,” she tells Colbert. “He’s, like, the greatest of all time. Now I’m feeling really bad. He’s cute. He’s funny.”

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