Jenny Mollen used Instagram Stories Monday to reveal that her attempts to breastfeed son Lazlo have been futile lately, as he seems to prefer the bottle

By Jen Juneau
December 04, 2017 05:05 PM
Credit: Jenny Mollen/Instagram

Jenny Mollen isn’t crying over spilled milk, but is a little emotional over pumped milk.

The actress and author used Instagram Stories Monday to reveal to her followers that her attempts to breastfeed son Lazlo have been futile lately, because the 9-week-old seems to prefer the bottle.

“[As of] this weekend, Laz has decided … one feeding, he’ll breastfeed, and then the next feeding he’s just like, ‘F— that, give me a bottle,’ ” said the 38-year-old.

“This morning, I pumped because he seemed to be not hungry, but then the minute I was done pumping, he was ravenous and starving and drank every ounce of the breast milk I pumped,” she added. “So it’s almost like he’s playing me.”

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Mollen — who also shares 3½-year-old son Sid with husband Jason Biggs — admits she’s “really sad” and “feel[s] super rejected by” her newborn.

“I feel like … he likes his milk like he likes his women: easy, with big nipples,” she jokes. “I don’t know anybody who has bigger nipples than I do right now except a bottle. I’m so pissed. I’m really sad, I’m really f—ing bummed.”

The new mom of two reveals that she is having trouble grappling with giving Lazlo formula, too, especially since she didn’t have to do so with her older son until much later.

“I don’t even think [Sid] had formula until he was 6 months old, but I’ve had to supplement Laz now for the past two weeks,” she says. “I’m just sad … In my head I thought, ‘Okay, at least I can breastfeed him when I have the milk.’ ”

“But now he’s kind of coming from this place of, ‘F— you, bitch, why would I ever breastfeed [from] you?’ ” Mollen continues of her insecurities. ” ‘I can have bottles whenever I want, on tap, as much as my heart desires, with free-flowing nipples and no drama from you, so what do you think I’m gonna choose?’ ”

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Aside from feeding challenges, Mollen and Biggs have struggled with Sid adjusting to his new baby brother and acting out a bit in defiance of his parents.

“Last night, I made [Sid] dinner — made him crab puffs, my childhood favorite food — and he goes, ‘This dinner is terrible,’ ” Mollen recalls in her Instagram Story.

“I was just told by somebody that Mercury is in retrograde, so maybe that’s why Lazlo is refusing to breastfeed,” she adds. “I want to believe it. Gonna try to go with that.”

Mollen isn’t giving up on her breastfeeding quest, though. After a retail-therapy trip to Zara, the actress used Instagram Stories once more on Monday afternoon to detail her next plan of action.

“The doctor told me I should give [Lazlo] size 2 nipples because apparently it’ll be faster for him to drink, but why would I want it to be faster for him to drink? Then he’s really not gonna want anything to do with my boobs,” she explains.

“So no, I’m taking the alternate approach, and the alternate approach is this: I’m gonna make his life with the nipple on the bottle suck, and I’m gonna bring him back to me,” Mollen adds. “I’m making a soup to up my milk supply and to make my milk irresistible to him.”

“I’m gonna win him back, you guys — they all come back in the end,” she jokes. “That’s my rule of thumb, with men in general. Even if you think they won’t, they will.”