"I personally want them to find out before they find out from a friend or before they start Googling," Jana Kramer tells PEOPLE

By Melody Chiu
May 25, 2020 01:55 PM
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Mike Caussin and Jana Kramer
Courtesy of Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin

Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin have been candid with fans about their ups and downs over the last five years, and they plan to be just as honest with their children.

The couple — who are releasing a relationship self-help book in September called The Good Fight — tell PEOPLE they will sit down with their daughter Jolie, 4, and son Jace, 17 months, when they are older.

"I personally want them to find out before they find out from a friend or before they start Googling," says Kramer, 36, of one day discussing Caussin's infidelity and their subsequent difficulties with her kids.

"Hopefully we're still married and we're able to sit them down and say, 'Look, Mommy and Daddy went through some really crazy stuff in the beginning of our marriage, but look where we're at now and how happy we are and how we communicate."

Kramer also plans to acknowledge to her children that she and Caussin, 33, "still fight sometimes" but do so in a healthier way.

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"Our therapists want to show, not hide fighting," she says. "Kids need to see resolve. If for some reason, God forbid we're not together, then that's another conversation."

Should that day come, Kramer and Caussin — who celebrated their five-year wedding anniversary on Friday — say what will be most important for them to get across is that they chose to be happy.

"They don't need perfect parents. They need happy parents, so however we're happy is how our relationship will go," says Kramer.

RELATED VIDEO: Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin Open Up About Their 5-Year Wedding Anniversary

Adds Caussin: "A lot of it can be unspoken from this time leading up to it, so by the time they do find out, by the time we have that discussion and they've [potentially] read things that they read, it'll be so opposite end of the spectrum of what they know about their mom and dad that it's almost hard for them to even comprehend what that is."

Growing up, Kramer says she was a "hopeless romantic" who believed in finding a "fairy tale" happy ending.

But after everything she and Caussin have been through, the singer says she will teach Jolie and Jace that relationship are "not easy at all."

Still, "if you really fight for something, you can have a beautiful love," she says.