April 20, 2013 02:00 PM

Jeff Vespa/WireImage

Idina Menzel has a loving husband, a beautiful preschooler and a thriving career – but having it all is not easy.

“I think I do a decent job at it — or at least people tell me I do,” Menzel tells PEOPLE of balancing her work and family.

Walker‘s potty-training and handled it like a champ. He still has his pacifier — he’s 3½ — and that bothers me. I’m trying not to judge — it’s because we travel so much that I don’t like to mess him up in too many ways.”

Menzel, 41, is currently workshopping the new musical If/Then in New York City, thousands of miles away from her home in Los Angeles where she and husband Taye Diggs are raising their son.
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“It’s hard trying to make the decision to keep him in L.A. so he can go to school with his friends. He would be with a babysitter or have to travel to me to New York where I am rehearsing all day — but at least he’s with Mommy,” says the Glee actress. “It’s those kind of decisions that torture me all the time.”

Luckily, she has her husband of 10 years to support her.

“We work at it,” Menzel says of her marriage to Diggs. “I’m not going to glamorize it or glorify it — we go through tough times like everybody else, but we love each other very much. We try not to be away from each other for more than two weeks at a time and we try to find new ways to communicate.”

Menzel recently discovered her husband’s heroic side after he chased down a burglar whom the couple found in their home after returning from the SAG Awards in January.

“He was quite the macho man there,” Menzel says of Diggs, 42. “I was annoyed with him though because I thought it was stupid. The guy could have been armed and he could have been hurt.”

But that doesn’t mean Menzel did not appreciate his heroism.

“I was frustrated with him for doing it,” she says. “But his instinct came in — his child and wife were in the house — so afterward it was sexy to me.”

— Patrick Gomez

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