The author and former reality star says she'll be honest with her daughter about her painful past

By peoplestaff225
Updated May 17, 2016 02:45 PM

Her daughter Rainbow Aurora is only 3 years old, but Holly Madison can already see the familial similarities.

“She’s very particular about things she likes,” Madison, 36, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “And she gets frustrated easily — I do too!”

When it comes to the future, the former star of The Girls Next Door says she’ll be open with Rainbow about her own past — tough times and all.

“I would love for my daughter to learn from me,” says Madison, whose new book, The Vegas Diaries, is out Tuesday. “I want to share all my experiences, the ups and downs.”

Gregg Segal

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Says the former Playmate, who in her book details the pain and insecurities of living in the appearance-obsessed Playboy Mansion with ex Hugh Hefner, “In my 20s, I was the shy violet in the corner trying to be nice all the time. That can get you in a lot of trouble.”

Continues Madison, “I want Rainbow to learn to be verbal and stand up for herself. If I could go back, I’d be a lot more outspoken. I wouldn’t have allowed myself to be made to feel less than.”

As for whether she’d allow her daughter to ever pose for something like Playboy?

“Never,” says Madison. “I want her to be confident and realize that there are ways to feel beautiful without exploiting yourself or putting yourself out there in a way you might regret. I want her to have respect for herself.”

Madison is expecting her second child — a boy — with husband Pasquale Rotella in August.

For more from Holly Madison, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands now.

Aili Nahas