"It is hard... because I’m going to miss this," Hilaria said of her decision to make her almost 1-year-old son sleep in his crib from now on
Hilaria Baldwin is having to change her parenting style.
One month after revealing that she had suffered a miscarriage, Hilaria opened up about another emotional moment in her life: making the “tough” decision to stop co-sleeping with her youngest son, Romeo Alejandro David, who turns 1 on May 21.
Though Hilaria, 35, acknowledged that the milestone was foreseeable, as “everyone has to grow up”, the mom of four explained that the choice came earlier than she had hoped and did not come with ease.
Still, she said, it was necessary for the safety of her son (whom she shares with husband Alec Baldwin) since the baby was beginning to move around in bed more frequently.
“I co-sleep with my kids while nursing them. It’s usually about a year,” she began her Instagram post on Tuesday, which featured a photo of her breastfeeding Romeo. “I feel very safe with it because Alec and I are both very light, stationary sleepers.”
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“Romeo has begun to move around much more than my other ones while he sleeps,” she continued. “So I’ve decided that, for his safety and our sleep, he is going to learn to stay in his crib overnight.”
“It is hard…because I’m going to miss this…the cuddling at night,” she added, noting that the photo was taken on Romeo’s last night in his parents’ bed. “Yesterday was the first night he wasn’t in bed with us. It was tough, and there were definitely tears—both his and mostly mine”
“…but I know that everyone has to grow up,” she finished. “We will just have to cuddle that much more during the day.”
Days after revealing that she was “likely” suffering a miscarriage, Hilaria confirmed on April 9 that she had lost her baby. Her unborn child showed no signs of a heartbeat after an ultrasound tech had observed a slower-than-normal heart rate the previous week.
Though upset by the news, Hilaria chose to focus on the positive side of things in her life — namely, her husband and their children together.
“There was no heartbeat today at my scan … so it’s over … ” she captioned the sad post, featuring a photo with her family. “But I have some pretty strong and amazing heartbeats right here.”
“I am surrounded by such love and I feel so fortunate,” Hilaria continued. “Thank you all for listening, for your support, and for sharing your own personal stories. We are stronger together …”
She eventually underwent a D&C procedure, and four days after the procedure, revealed that she was slowly easing back into her fitness routines and “being super gentle with my body right now” as she continued to heal.
On April 24, the mom of four opened up about her wellbeing, noting that she was “starting to feel like myself again,” and said despite the tragedy, “some great conversations emerged” which she felt needed to continue.
“Since so many of you have been asking, I want to tell you that I am doing well,” Hilaria wrote, alongside a video showing an early ultrasound of her baby. “It has been 2 weeks since the d&c and I am physically starting to feel like myself again. Emotionally I am ok too … when we choose to become parents, we take a big risk with our hearts. Never do we love so intensely — and this is scary, but so worth it.”
“Creating a positive from a negative, this little flicker of life left [its] mark. This is an issue that so many suffer with in silence … because those are the rules we follow,” Hilaria continued. “As I have said to so many: this experience wasn’t just about me and my journey, it is about anyone, perhaps you, or someone you know, who has suffered from a loss.”
“It is about continuing a conversation, knowing we need not have shame or fear … so that we can heal … and those who will unfortunately follow will have a community to turn to,” she finished. “I came forward to share and create a spark … please help me turn this spark into a lasting flame 🔥.”
As the couple begins to move forward, it does not appear that they will let this stop them from trying for a fifth child.
Speaking to PEOPLE recently, Alec explained his wife was doing “great” in the wake of the tragedy that “broke his heart a little bit”, but was confident they would try again. “We’re not done,” he matter-of-factly said.