Eva Amurri on Heartbreaking Moment She Told Kids About the Divorce: We 'Experienced Some Refusal'
Eva Amurri Martino is opening up about how she and Kyle Martino told their two kids about their divorce.
In a new blog post published on Wednesday, the mom of two — who is currently expecting her third child with Martino — explained how they broke the news to son Major James, 3, and daughter Marlowe Mae, 5, calling it the “most challenging step” in their separation so far.
“It was the event that I was the most worried about and nervous for, and one of the hardest emotional milestones I’ve ever gone through,” she wrote.
“But we got through it together, it ended up going well (although SO sad and hard), and going through that conversation taught both Kyle and I a lot about ourselves and about our relationship moving forward.”
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Amurri Martino, 34, also explained that she and Martino, 38, “ended up getting advice from a social worker” about how to talk to their kids about divorce.
“Our priority in all of this has been making sure our kids are okay through this process and decision, and I think telling them the way we did really set the tone for their experience moving forward,” she explained.
The actress and lifestyle blogger — who is the daughter of Susan Sarandon — also included an excerpt of the “script” she and Martino tried to stick to while talking to their kids.
“By the way, this is one of the hardest monologues I have ever had to get through,” she wrote. “Saying it was an out of body experience, and I had tears coming down my face the entire time. Kyle took half and I took half of this speech, and we practiced ahead of time together.”
“It’s okay if you cry,” she added. “Acknowledge that the tears are there because this is hard and sad. There is NOTHING easy about saying these words to your kids. But being clear, saying them, and getting it out in to the open is so important. And the first step to a healthier family dynamic.”
“For my kids’ privacy, I will keep their reaction to our conversation private,” Amurri Martino continued. “I will say that it was as awful as I worried it would be, and some parts were even worse. We talked for about twenty minutes all together. Thankfully, we had gotten some good advice about dealing with the reaction. We were told that no matter what our kids said, it was important to validate their feelings, to tell them how much we love them, and that we are a family no matter what.”
“We also experienced some refusal about our decision,” Amurri Martino wrote. “We told the kids that we heard them, but that Mommy and Daddy thought a lot about this decision and we decided that’s what’s best. We reinforced over and over that our love for them will never change and that we will continue to all see each other a lot, and be together as a family during the big moments.”
The mom of two said that after the talk, “we hugged our kids a lot” and “told them a thousand times how much we love them and adore them.” She and Martino also “transitioned the kids into some play time” afterwards, playing an hour-long game of hide and seek.
“It felt empowering that the people we care most about in the world know our truth now, and that we got through the hardest obstacle together,” she concluded the blog post. “It really set the tone for our co-parenting relationship moving forward, and we continue to tackle the scary obstacles together, especially the emotional ones.”