May 05, 2015 06:30 PM

As a new mother, Eva Amurri Martino thought a baby nurse could help her get in a groove.

But it turns out, the first-time mom just needed to follow her own instincts.

“I find that a lot of people have a lot of advice. You have to do what works for you, whether that’s co-sleeping or getting on a schedule, it has to work for your family,” the actress, 30, tells Cricket’s Circle.

“Our baby nurse got us on a schedule that was stressing me out, so we got rid of it.”

That attitude has been Amurri Martino’s mantra along the way: Finding what works best for her family. And the mother of daughter Marlowe Mae, 8 months, hopes others will share in her sentiments.

“Mom shaming drives me crazy,” she says. “Why does every mom need other moms to do things their way? New motherhood is such a vulnerable and powerful time, but it’s also really hard. Do not judge other moms on how they raise their children.”

Courtesy Eva Amurri Martino

But it’s not all about baby. As she learns the ropes of parenthood, Amurri Martino and husband Kyle Martino have realized the importance of keeping their relationship high on the list of priorities.

“It’s so hard to find time for yourself, for your relationship, and as a family. We fell into the trap of handing off the baby, so we could each get things done, but we weren’t spending time all together,” she explains.

“A baby is such a huge change for everyone, so acknowledge that. It’s hard and you don’t have to be great at everything right away.”

For the new mama, it was the first few months of motherhood that tested her limits. After spending time home with her then newborn baby girl — who had reflux and was “screaming her brains out” all day — Amurri Martino knew she needed a break.

“Being real about that was so freeing,” she shares. “You have to get out of the house, go to the gym, and respect that you’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to have a lot of feelings that aren’t all positive.”

And even when their lives get hectic, the couple know they can always reconnect during their weekly Wednesday date night.

“We see a movie, try a new wine bar, go for dinner, go for a walk,” Amurri Martino says. “Whatever it is, we get dressed up and get our groove back a little.”

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For more of Eva Amurri Martino’s interview, visit Cricket’s Circle.com, the shoppable short answer for baby and toddler.

— Anya Leon

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