May 19, 2016 02:00 PM

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell might be America’s most adorable parents, but don’t expect their family to be growing anytime soon.

During a visit to Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Wednesday, Shepard talked about how having two kids — daughters Lincoln, 3, and Delta, 17 months — is “exponentially” harder than having just one. It’s so much harder, in fact, that he recently eliminated any chance he and Bell had to have any more children.

“Last year, my wife was working in Atlanta. We were there and she all of a sudden goes, ‘Oh my gosh! I’m so stupid. I’ve been sick for 10 days and ignoring it — I’m definitely pregnant,’ ” he says. “I was like, ‘We’re going to turn into Jon and Kate Plus 8 or something. We already have no life! This is going to be not worth living.’ I freaked out. It was so bad.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube

He continues: “That was Tuesday and she had to work, so for eight hours we didn’t get a pregnancy test. For eight hours I was, like, imagining my life with all these kids. That was Tuesday. I flew home Wednesday for a meeting. Thursday morning, I had a vasectomy.”

Shepard, 41, reveals that Bell, 35, was “not thrilled” with his quick reaction, “but I’m a man of action, so I was in and out.”

And although Shepard says the procedure wasn’t so bad, the follow-up appointment, to which he was supposed to bring a sperm sample to be tested for sterility, caused him a lot of trouble.

His appointment was scheduled for 5:00 p.m. in Beverly Hills and he had a meeting at 3:00 in Burbank, but, Shepard says, he thought he would have plenty of time to “relax, extract, go to Beverly Hills.” Of course, the meeting ran late.

“I have 15 minutes to get from Burbank to Beverly Hills and procure my sample. This is the God’s truth. I had to drive cross-town, rush hour — thank God there was heavy traffic on Laurel Canyon, so it slowed down enough that I could …” he shares.

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“I literally masturbated on Laurel Canyon in heavy traffic … For y’all who have not been on Laurel Canyon, it’s one of the twistier roads in America. It’s hard enough to get through that road while not making love to yourself, into a container.”

Shepard ends with a laugh: “Anyways, the great news is I’m sterile!”

— Andrea Park

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