On Tuesday’s episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the CHiPs star stopped by and talked about that chair incident, as well as the time an injury caused him to pass on some not-so-savory language to his daughter Lincoln, 3½.
“One night, I’m in there, I sing them ‘Wheels on the Bus,’ everything’s good, they’re going to sleep,” he says. “I go to bend down to pick up the towel to put it under the door [to block light from entering], they have a bookshelf … wham, straight into the bridge of my nose. Almost blacked out.”
He continues, “I let a couple ‘motherf—ers’ rip, ’cause I’ve lost count of where I’m at. I feel like I’m in an alley or something.”
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The comedic actor, 42, then explains the photo that comes up on Ellen DeGeneres‘ stage screen, promising the audience, “That’s down to the bone, y’all.”
And while the couple’s daughter Delta, 2, didn’t seem to pick up on the new vocabulary from her dad, her big sister definitely did.
“Two days later, Kristen’s walking down the hallway and Lincoln’s in her room trying to get a sweatshirt off,” he recalls. “And her arms are all bound up in it and she’s getting frustrated and she goes, ‘Oh, f—!’ “
“And Kristen comes in the kitchen, she goes, ‘She just said, “Oh, f—.” ‘ And I go, ‘Okay, here’s what we do. We pretend it never happened. We’ll ignore it. She finds out we don’t want her to say it, she’ll say it all the time.’ “
Unfortunately for the parents of two, that didn’t quite do the trick, as their older daughter repeated the word again that very same day.
“About five hours later, we’re at a pool party. Swear to God, she’s in the pool, she goes, ‘This pool’s f—in’ warm,’ ” he says. “So now we’re like, ‘We’re gonna ignore it a second time.’ “
Shepard continues, “Side note, we were like, ‘She’s nailing the syntax. She knows [how to use it] as an adjective, as an adverb.’ We were proud, and she stopped saying it.”
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Shepard also touches on the famous La-Z-Boy battle, in which he parked his new chair in the couple’s living room in an effort to get the best possible TV-watching experience and Bell, 36, was having none of it.
“I’m winning the battle — I certainly won’t win the war,” he says, sharing that the chair is still in the living room instead of his office, which is where Bell wanted it to go but her husband claims it doesn’t fit.
“It’s so negative-gravity that if I sit in it for, like, six hours, my muscles atrophy,” he claims of the notorious furniture piece. “I honestly have gotten out of the chair and I feel considerably weaker. Like the astronauts in space, their muscles deteriorate.”
He adds, “So what’s funny if [Kristen] just embraced the chair for a couple months, I’d be too weak to fight back. If she just lets me turn into Mr. Burns in that chair, everything’ll be fine.”
DeGeneres is on Bell’s side, though, arguing (teasingly, of course) that the piece’s positioning completely messes up the room’s feng shui.
“I’m function over feng shui,” Shepard says.