'I Thought I'd Never Be a Mom': A YouTube Star Suffered a Miscarriage and a Stillbirth Before Motherhood
Missy Lanning couldn’t wait to be a mom.
“I wanted to document every second of it,” the California native says of starting her blog, Bumps Along the Way, in 2011. “But I had no idea how many bumps there’d be.”
In 2012 Missy and her husband, Bryan, found out they were expecting for the first time.
“I had all this joy and no fear,” Missy says in the current issue of PEOPLE.
But she suffered through a miscarriage just nine weeks into the pregnancy.
Less than a year later, their son was stillborn at 19 weeks.
I thought I might never be a mom, but my pain gave me a purpose to keep sharing my story. I wanted other women to know they aren’t alone,” says Missy, whose blog spawned two successful YouTube channels: her self-titled vlog and her family’s Daily Bumps channel.
Missy admits the couple, both 26, “went through a lot” during that painful time but Bryan – who has his own YouTube channel and a burgeoning music career – says “we learned a lot about each other. We grew up and together.”
Ultimately the couple welcomed son Oliver James in July 2013 after an emergency cesarean section and his younger brother Finley Jay last October.
For more from the Lannings – including how Missy’s diligent monitoring of her third pregnancy led to the “miracle” birth of her son Oliver – pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands now
“There are still times we go back to those losses, and it’s hard,” admits Missy. “But we are so happy with our two amazing kids.”
“The minute I had Ollie, I knew I was born to be a mom,” Missy continues. “Everything we do is for our kids. They’re our true passion.”