Carrie Underwood is opening up about motherhood and the pregnancy struggles she’s faced along the way.
The country superstar, who is currently pregnant with her second child, revealed Sunday morning that she had suffered three miscarriages in the past two years.
“I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby,” Underwood remarked during an interview on CBS Sunday Morning. “We got pregnant early 2017, and didn’t work out.”
During that difficult time, Underwood said she leaned into her faith.
“In the beginning, it was like, ‘Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn’t Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it.’ ”
However, that outlook became increasingly difficult to maintain after Underwood suffered a second miscarriage in 2017, and then a third in 2018.
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“At that point, it was just kind of like, ‘Okay, like, what’s the deal? What is all of this?’ ” Underwood told CBS News’ Tracy Smith, adding that even then she felt “afraid to be angry” as the couple had already been “so blessed” with a wonderful child, 3½-year-old son Isaiah Michael.
“My son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he’s the best thing in the world. And I’m like, ‘If we can never have any other kids, that’s okay, because he’s amazing.’ And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can’t,” she continued. “I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No.”
But when she thought she might be suffering a fourth miscarriage, she finally “got mad.”
Underwood went on to explain in the CBS interview that one of her most emotional moments from that time came as she cuddled with her son and thought, “Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can’t have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.”
“And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt,” she added. “That was like a Saturday — and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great!”
She said, “He heard me.”
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“You might be wondering or asking, ‘Carrie, why is your tour starting in May?’ Well … yay!” she said in the video, revealing balloons spelling out “BABY” above her head. “Mike and Isaiah and I are absolutely over the moon and excited to be adding another little fish to our pond.”
Underwood has been open in the past about how much parenthood has changed her, and some of her more touching moments have directly involved her son.
“This morning, Melissa, my hair and makeup artist, was starting to put my makeup on and he’s all in his pajamas and he said, ‘No, don’t do that!’ and I was like, ‘Why, baby, why are you upset?’ ” the “Cry Pretty” singer — who received 40 to 50 stitches in her face and underwent surgery on her broken wrist after a November fall on the steps of her Nashville, Tennessee, home — told PEOPLE in May of Isaiah.
“And he said, ‘I like you just how you are.’ He didn’t want me to put makeup on,” explained Underwood. “That made me feel pretty. I know I wasn’t [pretty] because I had just woken up and hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, but he made me feel pretty.”
In her cover story for Redbook‘s September issue, Underwood opened up about her family life, including whether she and Fisher, 38, had plans to give Isaiah any siblings.
“In the meantime, we’re lucky to be a part of organizations that help kids, because our focus right now in our lives is helping as many kids as possible,” the star added.
RELATED VIDEO: Carrie Underwood’s Son Attends Superstar’s Concert for the First Time: ‘He’s Proud of His Momma’
During her last tour (The Storyteller Tour — Stories in the Round), Underwood brought Isaiah on the road, where they had a variety of adventures in everything from backstage prep to trips to local kid-friendly spots.
“It’s definitely a balancing act. I have help, because someone has to watch Isaiah when I’m on stage, but we live a lot more on the bus now instead of going in and out of hotels,” she told PEOPLE in September 2016.
“My bus is outfitted for him — he has a crib in the back, and everything is safe there,” she continued of her then-18-month-old son. “That’s a whole other thing — when you’re in a hotel, they probably wonder why I put the big plant in the closet. It’s because he’ll grab it.”
“On days off, we look for parks and zoos and aquariums,” said the “Cowboy Casanova” singer, adding that she likes to go to farmer’s markets, co-ops and more to buy groceries wherever she’s visiting.
As for parenting with her husband, who recently re-retired from his position as a center for the NHL’s Nashville Predators, Underwood said they make it work while she has Isaiah with her on the road by taking advantage of current technology.
“We FaceTime almost every day so [Mike] can have a little interaction with Isaiah,” she explained. “He comes out sometimes. I look for times when his schedule has him playing at home, and we might send Isaiah home to be with him so he can have some time with him.”
“That has to be hard, for him to be away from Isaiah. I have never been on that side of it,” the singer added. “They need their time together because Isaiah loves his daddy!”
While Underwood still has some time before she hits the road as a mother of two, during an August interview with The Tennessean, the singer revealed she’s already mentally preparing for the experience.
“It’s going to be a different ball game, for sure,” she told the outlet. “My brain, I’m such a planner. I want to know how it’s all going to go. But no matter who you are, you make it happen, you make it work, you get your team behind you.”
Although she went on to share she has no idea whether she’d be having a girl or a boy, she felt confident that her son Isaiah will be up to the task of being the older sibling. “I think he’ll be a really good big brother,” she said. “I think he’ll be helpful.”
In fact, her baby boy has already come up with a name for his future younger sibling!
During an interview on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in September, the county star revealed that her son had thoughtfully suggested the name “‘Isaiah Michael Fisher,’ which is of course his name, which, of course, would be confusing.”
Explaining the sweet rationale behind her son’s unique choice, Underwood added, “He wants to name everything his name cause he thinks that’s special.”
She also went on to share that despite his naming advice, Isaiah probably has yet to fully grasp that he’s going to have a sibling yet.
“I don’t think for real he does,” she said. “He’ll be really sweet and talk to my belly and kiss my belly. He’s the sweetest little boy. But no kid can really know that their life is going to change… He’ll have to share Mommy.”