“I’m 35, so we may have missed our chance to have a big family,” the country star, 35, revealed in her cover story for Redbook‘s September issue, which was released shortly before the country star announced she’s expecting her second child.
Underwood, who is already a mom to 3½-year-old son Isaiah Michael, added that both she and her husband Mike Fisher, 38, “always talk about adoption and about doing it when our child or children are a little older.”
“In the meantime, we’re lucky to be a part of organizations that help kids, because our focus right now in our lives is helping as many kids as possible,” the star added.
During an interview on this weekend’s episode of CBS Sunday Morning, the “Cry Pretty” singer revealed she experienced the first miscarriage last year.
“I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby,” said Underwood, whose son Isaiah Michael was born in 2015. “We got pregnant early 2017, and didn’t work out.”
During that difficult time, Underwood said she leaned into her faith.
“In the beginning, it was like, ‘Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn’t Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it,'” she said.
That outlook became increasingly difficult to maintain after Underwood suffered a second miscarriage in 2017 and then a third in 2018 — although she still felt “afraid to be angry” as the couple had already been “so blessed” with a wonderful child.
“My son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he’s the best thing in the world. And I’m like, ‘If we can never have any other kids, that’s okay, because he’s amazing.’ And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can’t,” she continued. “I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No.”
But when she thought she might be suffering a fourth miscarriage, “I got mad,” Underwood told CBS News’ Tracy Smith.
She went on to reveal that one of her most emotional moments came as she cuddled with her son and thought, “Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can’t have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.”
“And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt,” she added. “That was like a Saturday — and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great!”
She said, “He heard me.”
RELATED VIDEO: Carrie Underwood Is Pregnant! Singer and Husband Mike Fisher ‘Adding Another Fish to Our Pond’
When Underwood first announced her pregnancy in August, the excited star called the news “a dream come true.”
“You might be wondering or asking, ‘Carrie, why is your tour starting in May?’ Well … yay!” she said in the video, revealing balloons spelling out “BABY” above her head. “Mike and Isaiah and I are absolutely over the moon and excited to be adding another little fish to our pond.”
“We’re just so excited and just so glad you guys can share in this with us and be a part of this with us,” she continued.