Brittani Boren Leach's 3-month-old son was laid to rest last week after he was found unresponsive during a nap on Christmas Day
On Tuesday, the 29-year-old YouTube star — whose 3-month-old son died on Dec. 30 — shared an Instagram photo from her maternity photo shoot with a sweet message about her late son.
“I never got around to posting my maternity pictures with Crew because by the time I got them back, he had already made his VERY fast and furious entrance to the world,” she said. “I almost didn’t take maternity pictures because I was just so busy.”
“I’m glad I did because little did I know, he would spend more time in my belly than he did out,” she continued. “And while he was here he wanted to be with his Mama as much as possible. Now I know why.”
The grieving parent then went on to explain how Crew’s organs helped save the lives of two other children.
“We got the bittersweet call a few days ago, that his liver saved the life of a 1 year old boy, and his heart saved the life of 7 month old boy,” Leach said. “He would be 4 months old today, and every fiber of my being misses him every single second of the day.”
“But I have peace knowing that he was THE miracle that another family prayed for, and we pray that we are able to meet these precious boys one day,” she added. “In three short months he has touched and changed more lives than most in their lifetime, and despite the pain, I’m so proud God chose me to be his Mother. 💙”
On the day of Crew’s funeral, Leach shared an emotional message on Instagram, along with a photo of her son’s casket and another photo of her other children at the funeral.
“We laid our sweet baby boy to rest today, and a part of me went with him,” Leach wrote. “During his memorial, Carter reached over and grabbed my hand. Then Cooper laid his hand on ours and then Sydney laid hers on top. I’m so so proud of them.”
“We will always feel like we are missing a piece of our family, because we are,” she said. “And until we get to Heaven, I know he’s smiling, laughing and playing at the feet of Jesus.”
“I just wish he was here instead,” Leach continued, explaining that the family “laid a tiny blue cape with a ‘C’ on it over his casket to celebrate our little Hero Crew. It was Jeff’s idea and I loved it. Thank you to everyone who made it today, your support means so much to us. 💙 #crewscrew #blueforcrew.”
The Leach family made the decision to donate Crew’s organs, and the hospital where he was being treated held an honor walk for the infant three days after his death.
“Our sweet Crew went to be with Jesus today,” Leach wrote on Instagram Dec. 30. “Right now Crew is dancing and playing in Heaven with Jeff’s brother, great grandparents, a little brother I never met, and some very special little boys. And one day we hope to meet the 3 or 4 little lives that he has saved. But right now there’s a big hole in my heart and my arms feel empty.”
The YouTube star has been very open about how difficult it has been for her to deal with Crew’s sudden death.
“It’s all just too much. All of it. I know God has a plan for this, but I’m really really mad at him right now,” she wrote in a previous Instagram post. “It’s all too much. I’m sorry to vent, but this is my heart. And I need all the prayers to get through this.”