E!
October 08, 2018 04:58 PM

Brie Bella is revealing her struggles over when to stop nursing her daughter Birdie Joe.

The mother of one opens up about the lack of milk she has been producing as she seeks advice and support from a breastfeeding support group.

“My breast milk’s taken a huge dip,” Bella, 34, says in a sneak peek from Wednesday’s Total Divas. “I used to have enough where I donate. And now I’ve realized in the last month, that I can’t even keep up with her during the day so I’ve had to introduce one bottle of formula a day. I’m trying to pump and do all this stuff, but it’s the stress. I hate pumping. To the point it makes me feel bad when I’m doing it because I’m so miserable.”

But it’s not only the physical and emotional stress that affects the WWE star, who welcomed her now-17-month-old child with husband, fellow wrestler Daniel Bryan. “The guilt always plays in. Mom guilt’s the worst feeling in the world,” Bella admits.

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RELATED: Nikki Bella Gets in Trouble ‘All the Time’ for Spoiling Brie Bella’s Daughter: ‘Birdie Owns Me’

Despite raving about the pros of breastfeeding, the twin sister of Nikki Bella says the cons are outweighing the positive aspects.

“Breastfeeding is extremely hard but I love the bond with Birdie. My body is feeding my child. But at the same time, I don’t want to lose myself, I don’t want to lose my career,” Brie says. “I want to balance both and that’s what I thought pumping could balance Birdie and my job, but it’s not working. It’s weird how you just constantly feel like you’re failing.”

RELATED VIDEO: WWE Superstars Brie & Nikki Bella on Bonding With Birdie: ‘[It’s] the Most Incredible Thing in the World’

Though she did not make a decision to continue or stop breastfeeding, the star concludes: “These women make me feel like it’s okay if you don’t want to breastfeed anymore or it’s okay to still balance it. To have other women just be like, ‘You do you. That’s all you have to do.’ I haven’t felt that in a while, so it means a lot to me right now.”

Brie previously donated to families in need as seen in an episode of Total Divas. “I have extra milk and I don’t want it to stay in my freezer forever till I have to throw it away. If babies can benefit from it, then I want to do this,” she said at the time.

And in August 2017, the proud parent shared a hilarious breastfeeding story on her YouTube channel.

“In the middle of the night, as you all know, I do a little pumping. Well, guess who forgot their pumping heads? So guess what I did?” Bella told fans. “I sat there, and I was in a lot of pain…I was in a lot of pain and I was like, ‘Well, pumps had to just like come into existence not long ago, what did people do back in the day, right Bird?’ I was really thinking about this. I was thinking, ‘How do they pump cows?’ So last night in the bathroom, I went in there and I opened up the baggy part and I milked myself like a cow. And guess what? I got six ounces! I’m very proud of this.”

Total Divas airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET on E!

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