Bode Miller's Wife Morgan Honors Late Daughter After Welcoming Twins: 'She's Still Very Much Here'
Olympic skier Bode Miller and his wife Morgan's daughter Emeline Grier died by drowning at 19 months old in June 2018
But Morgan, 32, feels like Emeline has been with her through the entire experience — from pregnancy to the twins’ dramatic arrival that saw Bode jump in with his mom to deliver the boys when their midwife didn’t make it in time.
“Talk about divine intervention with this entire delivery,” Morgan tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue, on newsstands Friday. “There’s no question in my mind that she had her hand in all of this. She’s still very much here.”
As friends and family have reached out to congratulate her and the Olympic skier, 42, after the Nov. 8 arrival of their yet-to-be-named newborns, Morgan appreciates how loved ones also remember the couple’s late daughter during this time.
“It’s been really special because everybody celebrates this with us but they also at the same time remember Emmy,” Morgan says. “And that makes it special that she’s not forgotten.”
The pro beach volleyball player reflected on having children since losing Emeline (she welcomed son Easton Vaughn Rek in October 2018 and was pregnant with him when her daughter died in June 2018) when she announced her latest pregnancy in August.
“Losing a child while pregnant was the most confusing experience of my life,” Morgan wrote on Instagram. “The conflict of emotions from what was pure joy turned to guilt and terror overnight. How could I love this baby the way I loved Emmy? Was it okay to love this baby the way I loved Emmy? It felt like by loving my son, I was trying to replace her.”
She continued, “The fear of birthing my son and what that meant …..a monumental step forward….proof that time continued without her when all I wanted was for time to stop. But let me say this….I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
RELATED VIDEO: Olympian Bode Miller’s 19-Month-Old Daughter Dies After Drowning in Pool: ‘We Are Beyond Devastated’
Now Morgan hopes to find her groove as the mom to identical newborn boys, along with Easton, 13 months, and son Edward Nash Skan, 4, plus Bode’s children, son Samuel Nathaniel, 6, and daughter Neesyn Dace, 11.
“For me the biggest challenge has not so much been having two babies, it’s two babies and a 13-month-old and a 4-year-old who both still really need a lot of love and a lot of attention,” she continues to PEOPLE.
“It’s finding a way for them to still get that one-on-one time. That’s the same for one newborn versus two newborns. But other than that, a baby’s a baby. They eat, sleep and poop.”
For more on Bode and Morgan Miller, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.
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