Ashton Kutcher and Reese Witherspoon Open Up About Raising 'Resilient' Kids

"It's not your job to raise happy kids," says Kutcher, who is a dad of two

In the years (and decades!) since they've become parents, Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher have learned a few things.

"We're just going to share all our parenting tips," jokes Witherspoon, 46, who is mom to Ava, 23 and Deacon, 19, with ex Ryan Phillippe and Tennessee, 10, with husband Jim Toth. "Like when the kid doesn't want to go to school...'I know you wish that. But we're going to school.'"

Adds Kutcher, 44, who shares Wyatt, 8 and Dimitri, 6 with wife Mila Kunis: "We're both big family people. And I'm a huge fan of Dr. Becky Kennedy and her approach to parenting. It's not your job to raise happy kids. It's your job to raise resilient kids who can find happiness. It's the blessing of a skinned knee!"

Kutcher and Witherspoon, who star in the new Netflix movie Your Place or Mine, also reflect on raising children in a different generation. (In the film, their characters meet in 2003).

"You remember that thing where you would fall asleep on the phone?" he says. "I imagine my kids are going to have full-score relationships with people that are mostly text. I'm like, just call me!"

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Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher Double Talk
Thomas Whiteside / Netflix

Says Witherspoon: "There's a point at which you need to get off texts. I talk to my older kids about the power of picking up the phone. Direct communication can sometimes get right to the point. But kids that age don't like you to call them. They're like, 'Ugh, it's my mom!'"

When it comes to self-care as parents, however, Kutcher is unequivocal at least in one area.

"I haven't liked taking baths since I was 7," says the actor, whose character has a memorable scene in the bathtub. "When I grew up, there were three of us. And the bath would get filled one time. So the order in which you went to the bath really made a difference in your bath experience. I'm just not a fan of the bath. You're sitting in your own filth."

Continues Kutcher: "I don't care what anybody thinks about my bathing habits. When I get out of the bath, I have to take a shower!"

For more about the pair, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

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