Why Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris Are Considering Surrogacy and Adoption to Start Their Family
While she and Ali Krieger discuss having kids often, "The unfortunate part is someone's going to have to give in their career," Ashlyn Harris tells Allure
Motherhood is on Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger's minds — but they're still working through the logistics.
The soccer star couple posed together for Allure's August 2020 cover, revealing in their joint interview that while they "talk about having kids a lot," the fact is that "it takes an army" to raise a child.
"The unfortunate part is someone's going to have to give in their career," says Harris, 34. (Both she and Krieger, 35, currently play for the Orlando Pride.) "Which is not fair. Because we both love our jobs and have waited our whole lives for these moments. Just taking a year off ... where does that fit in? I can't even take a weekend off."
"We've talked about surrogates, we've talked about adoption, and it's just really tough because what — are we going to take the child everywhere? I mean, we've been home for seven days in the last three months," she adds.
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But there are also "a lot of moms [on the team]" who make it work, Krieger says. For example, Sydney Leroux Dwyer has two children, while Alex Morgan welcomed her first child, daughter Charlie Elena, on May 7. (Both Morgan, 31, and Leroux Dwyer, 30, are also married to fellow soccer players.)
"When we're traveling, we carry the stroller and the [diaper] bag and then she's carrying the baby, or we're carrying the baby and she's getting all the stuff," Krieger explains.
The women, who tied the knot in Miami this past December, have been thinking about their future children's well-being for a while now, even while planning their wedding — and learning along the way to live in the moment.
"Originally, we just wanted to have a private ceremony," Krieger tells Allure. "We were like, 'Let's save our money and worry about our future kids' education.' And it ended up being like, 'Listen, let's share our love with the world. We can make this [wedding] an event for our community.' Sometimes I did feel like, 'What are we doing?' But no, we're saving people's lives [with our visibility], and that's what matters most."
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How a child would fit into Krieger and Harris' busy sports schedule is an understandable concern, as they even "have to make time" for their relationship "even though we see each other all the time," says Harris.
"The team comes first," the goalkeeper adds. "We actually don't [often] stay in the same room [on the road]. If we are in the same room, we're in separate beds because sleep is a huge part of our recovery."
Despite the pair's packed calendars, though, Krieger says that she and her wife always take time at the end of each day to check in on one another.
"Sometimes, when we go to bed, we will say, 'What was your favorite part of today?' or 'What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?' " the defender shares. "This is a good way to check in."