Alanis Morissette Reveals Heartbreaking Struggles to Become a Mom: I Had a 'Bunch of Miscarriages'
"I'm an optimist who will get depressed and cry, but at the end of the day there's still that little light," Alanis Morissette said
Alanis Morissette is opening up about her struggles on the road to parenthood.
The "Ironic" singer appeared on Dax Shepard's podcast, Armchair Expert, Friday during which she revealed that between having her three children, sons Winter Mercy, 10 months, and Ever Imre, 9, as well as daughter Onyx Solace, 3, she had "a bunch of miscarriages."
"Not all of it was the ideal situation," the 46-year-old star said, explaining the age gap between her kids, whom she shares with husband Mario “Souleye” Treadway.
Despite the hardships, Morissette told Shepard and co-host Monica Padman that she tried to remain positive and remind herself that there was "that little light" at the end of the tunnel.
"I'm an optimist who will get depressed and cry, but at the end of the day, there's still that little light, that little star of Bethlehem keeps dangling over there," she explained.
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The "Jagged Little Pill" singer shared that she relied on "trust" during the time she was trying to expand her family.
"We were chasing and just showing up and then surprises and then devastations and all of it," she said. "But, I mean, I do trust. I have this trust pilot light thing that keeps cooking along — even when there's a torrential downpour it's still flickering — of hope and faith and vision for something to work out, whatever it is."
However, Morissette's struggles helped to make her stronger. "One of the theories in relationships is that conflict is growth trying to happen," she shared.
This isn't the first time the "Hand In My Pocket" artist has been candid about the difficulties of being a mother.
Morissette appeared on the cover of Health‘s May issue breastfeeding her son Winter, explaining that her decision to grace the cover in such a vulnerable position stemmed from her appreciation for mothers.
“I love moms so much. If I talk about it too much, I’ll start crying,” she admitted. “I just think moms are so selfless day in and day out — women are just killing it all the time.”
The singer said that often mothers are “quietly suffering, or not-so-quietly suffering, and still going,” referring to them as “functioning sufferers.”
“If there can be even one moment of respite that my humor around it or my validation of it can help — that’s why I did it,” she continued of her decision. “Plus, I love education and teaching.”
Morissette has also spoken out about her battle with postpartum depression.
“My first two children, it was mostly depression, suicidal ideation, and anxiety,” she said. “But the depression was so in my face that the anxiety was just background music.”
“With [Winter], it’s mostly anxiety and almost no depression. I’ve come to understand that this is purely animal,” she said of the condition.