Wolf Van Halen Mourns Dad Eddie on First Anniversary of His Death: 'I Miss You So Much It Hurts'

"I'm not OK. I don't think I'll ever be OK," the Mammoth WVH musician wrote in a heart-wrenching letter

Wolf Van Valen
Eddie Van Halen (left) and son Wolfgang Van Halen (right). Photo: Wolf Van Valen/instagram

Wolf Van Halen is remembering his father Eddie a year after his death.

On Wednesday, the Mammoth WVH musician, 30, shared a touching letter to his father, alongside a photo of the father-son pair, to commemorate the first anniversary of his death.

"One year. You fought so hard for so long but you were still taken away," Wolf wrote. (Van Halen died on Oct. 6 after battling lung cancer for several years. He was 65.) "It's just so unfair."

"I'm not OK. I don't think I'll ever be OK," he continued. "There's so much I wish I could show you. So many things I wish I could share with you. I wish I could laugh with you again. I wish I could hug you again. I miss you so much it hurts."

He ended the note by writing: "I'm trying to do my best here without you, but it's really f—ing hard. I hope you're still proud. I love you with all of my heart, Pop. Watch over me." (Wolf's mother and Eddie's ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli shared his post on her social media.)

The anniversary of Eddie's death comes a day after Wolf celebrated the anniversary of Van Halen performing in front of a sold-out crowd at the Hollywood Bowl in 2015.

"It was the last show we ever did, and it was the last show I ever played with my Dad. I'll never forget it," Wolf wrote earlier this week.

Meanwhile, Eddie's widow Janie, whom Eddie married in 2009, shared a tribute to the late rocker writing, "I think about you every single day."

"I miss this, I miss us, I miss you, and I try my best to carry on the way you would want me to.
But my Peep, some days, that's really hard to do. This will never get easier because there really is no getting over you," Janie wrote. "The only solace that I can seem to find is knowing you are with God and truly free. Until our souls find each other again, please keep an eye on me."

"I love you and miss you so much," she continued.

Wolf has been open with fans of Van Halen and his father about his grieving process, often sharing throwback photos and posts dedicated to Eddie. In August, he shared a photo and write that his death "still doesn't feel real."

RELATED VIDEO: Wolfgang Van Halen Paves His Own Path on 'Therapeutic' New Album: 'I'm My Own Person'

I miss the f— out of him. I can't believe he's not here anymore," he wrote. "I'm doing my best, Pop."

Several weeks after his father's death Wolf started forging his own path as a musician, releasing the lead single of his debut album, "The Distance," a track written about his father. Ahead of the release of his record Mammoth WVH, he told PEOPLE that Eddie was the "only thing that keeps me going."

"What really helps me keep going is my dad, because if I just gave up and stopped and crawled in a hole, which I feel like doing every day, I know he'd be really pissed off at me," he said. "He's the only thing that keeps me going."

"It's really tough," he added. "I guess I'm a good actor when it comes to pretending that everything is okay. But it's really not."

Since kicking off his solo career as Mammoth WVH, Van Halen has released his debut album and just concluded an opening tour with Guns 'N' Roses. He's set to perform several solo shows before joining Scorpions on their Europe tour dates next year.

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