Shawn Mendes Says He Found a 'Real Kind of Love' and 'Respect' for Himself After Watching His Film

"In hindsight, I'm like, 'Dude, you got to give yourself a break, you really put so much pressure on yourself,'" the musician said about seeing himself in the film

Shawn Mendes
Shawn Mendes. Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty

Shawn Mendes is learning about himself after watching his Netflix documentary In Wonder.

During a Q&A with the pop star and the documentary's director Grant Singer Thursday, Mendes opened up about realizing aspects about himself he hadn't noticed.

"I can't imagine what it's going be like for me to watch that back in 30 years, that'll be breathtaking for me," the 22-year-old said. "But the interesting thing is, it's not easy to catch your patterns in live time."

"I really am seeing how much pressure I put on myself," he explains, referring to a scene in the film after he's forced to cancel a show in São Paulo. "In hindsight, I'm like, 'Dude, you got to give yourself a break, you really put so much pressure on yourself.' It was kind of beautiful because I was able to have this real love and respect for myself that I think I only got because of the film."

Shawn Mendes
Shawn Mendes. Netflix

Mendes explained that the film captures his coming into adulthood and shows him as "just a 20-year-old guy who also happens to be a famous musician."

"Regardless of the fame and all of the celebrity nonsense, it's really precious being 20 years old. It's a precious moment in anybody's life," Mendes said. "Not that I'm all wise and mature now that I'm 22, but I think when you're capturing somebody at 20 years old, if you do it justice, you can capture something that is the birth of an adult, and the birth of someone realizing who they are."

In the conversation, he spoke about featuring his sister Aaliyah in the film, which he was worried would "overwhelm her."

"She's definitely much more level-headed and cooler than me," he said about her, who seemed unfazed during the recording process. "But she was like a pro. I felt like she handled the camera better than I have and I do it for a living."

The "Treat You Better" singer also described the conversations and interviews he did in the film as "very cathartic."

"All of our conversations were very cathartic and very helpful honestly," he told Singer. "I felt like we would settle in for a little therapy session every time we were settling in for a conversation. I felt like anytime the camera was there and Grant was asking me questions, it was like my moment to be like, 'All right, so what is going on right now. How do I feel?' It felt like you were just filming as we were just figuring out what was going on in our lives and it was a cathartic and really nice experience for that reason."

Mendes ended by saying that he hopes to come together with the film's director to do a follow-up in 10 or 15 years. He's down for it "if there's something worth documenting, which there better be."

Shawn Mendes: In Wonder is now streaming on Netflix.

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