"For a long long time, no one could make me feels as loved as Ric. He was my sun," Porizkova wrote in the Instagram tribute  

By Joelle Goldstein
October 10, 2019 11:43 PM

Paulina Porizkova heartbreakingly revealed she feels her world will never be the same after the loss of her estranged husband and Cars frontman Ric Ocasek.

Almost one month after the musician’s sudden death, Porizkova, 54, opened up about their relationship and the impact Ocasek, 75, had on her life in an emotional tribute on Instagram.

Though the pair have been separated for nearly three years, the model explained that they were still living together at the time of his death and that she adored everything about Ocasek, including his flaws and unique personality traits.

“Everyone who knew Ric knew that he could be aloof. And not particularly social,” she wrote on Thursday alongside a black-and-white photo of the former couple together. “But when he decided to turn his focus on you, it was as if the sun came out.”

“His smile and his gaze warmed you and made you feel like the most special person in the world. I had that gaze and smile on me for most of my life,” she continued. “For a long long time, no one could make me feels as loved as Ric. He was my sun.”

RELATED: Inside The Cars’ Frontman Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova’s Decades-Long Relationship

Porizkova went on to clarify that she didn’t mean Ocasek was her sunshine — “Ric could be pretty gloomy” she admitted, adding that he used to “revel” in his nickname “the Master of Doom” — but rather that he was always the focal point of her life.

“But in my universe, it was where he rose and where he set that was the point to which I oriented myself. Like a plant, I tilted my head to catch his rays,” she explained. “Our separation didn’t alter this one bit.”

“He was rising and setting and I planned my life around it as one does a day: depending on the position of the sun in the sky: you’ll have breakfast or go to work or dinner with your friends,” the model finished. “His death is the end of my world as I knew it. 💔 💔💔💔💔 #ricocasek #grief #goodbye photo @stevenmeisel_”

Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova
Kevin Kane/Getty Images For The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

RELATED: Paulina Porizkova Recalls Final Moments with Ric Ocasek Before His Death, Why She Didn’t Call 911

This isn’t the first time that Porzikova has spoken out about her estranged husband, who died on Sept. 15 in his New York City home.

In a new interview with Rolling Stone published on Friday, the model opened up about the late music legend and father of her two children — Oliver, 21 and Jonathan, 25 — and remembered her last moments with him before his sudden death.

Porizkova said she was the one to find him in his home after he had died in his sleep following a surgery two weeks earlier, which the model noted was “not at all” the cause behind his death.

“I don’t know how much I want to say about the surgery, but it was successful. He was recuperating really well,” she told the outlet. “So his passing was a f—ing shock.”

Porizkova recalled bringing home cookies for Ocasek the night before his death and him saying that he was going to bed early because he was feeling sore. “That was the last time I saw him alive,” she told the outlet, adding that the next morning, she found him in bed with his eyes “a little bit open” and his cheek as cold as “marble.”

“That was pretty f—ing awful,” she said.

Paulina Porizkova and Ric Ocasek
Monica Schipper/Getty

RELATED: Ric Ocasek, The Cars Frontman and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, Dies at 75

After gathering her family and properly saying goodbye to Ocasek, Porizkova called 911.

The model also revealed in the interview that she was “baffled” by the New York medical examiner’s autopsy, which stated that Ocasek died of hypertensive and atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, also known as atherosclerosis — which is a plaque build-up in the arteries and can cause hardening and/or narrowing in the heart muscle.

Ocasek’s pulmonary emphysema, which causes a decrease in respiratory function and breathlessness, was listed as a contributing factor.

Looking back, Porizkova said his surgery was a “blessing,” as it unknowingly brought their entire family together one last time before Ocasek’s death.

“We had two weeks of just the four of us watching our favorite TV shows and me cooking or ordering in and hanging out,” she explained. “In this cloud of awfulness, that was a silver lining.”

Ocasek and Porizkova, who first met while filming the music video for The Cars’ song “Drive” in 1984, announced their split in May 2018 after 28 years of marriage. However, they were not legally divorced prior to his death.

They share two adult sons together, Jonathan and Oliver.

Ocasek also has four kids, Christopher, Adam, Eron and Derek Otcasek, from previous relationships.

Advertisement