Paris Jackson Admits She Gets 'Anxious' Playing Shows in a 'More Intimate Setting': 'It's Tough'
Paris Jackson opens up about finding her stage presence in an exclusive preview of the upcoming episode of Unfiltered: Paris Jackson and Gabriel Glenn
Paris Jackson is finding her way as an artist.
In a preview of the upcoming episode of her new Facebook Watch series with boyfriend Gabriel Glenn, Unfiltered: Paris Jackson and Gabriel Glenn, shared exclusively with PEOPLE, the daughter of the late Michael Jackson, 22, opens up about her struggle with stage presence.
"Sometimes it's tough playing shows because I feel like I'm kind of going through this blindfolded, and I'm just trying to figure this all out," Jackson admits in the preview of the episode, which will air in full on Tuesday. "But it's really exciting to share it and put it all out there."
From November 2019 to January 2020, Jackson and Glenn had been touring as their band, The Soundflowers. They released their debut self-titled EP in June.
"Playing our first few shows, I realized that I just don't have it at all," Jackson says. "I do get anxious playing in a more intimate setting."
Jackson's manager, Tom Hamilton, also notes the couple have different experience levels with performing on stage, saying, "Gabe's been on stage and singing since his high school band and Paris hasn't. She's still finding her stage presence."
Unfiltered: Paris Jackson and Gabriel Glenn premiered on June 30 and tracks Jackson's journey making folk music with Glenn and grappling with living up to Jackson family legacy.
In the premiere episode, titled "Who Is Paris Jackson?!," Jackson delved into how her past has informed her music today.
"It's been 11 years and I've been through hell, whether it was him passing or all the other s— I've been through in my life," Jackson said, discussing her dad. "If I don't talk about it or if I don't let it in my music, it's gonna completely ruin my life and it's gonna own me and I'll be a slave to that kind of pain. I don't want that."
"Everyone in my family does music. I mean, I'm a Jackson," she added. "It makes sense that I'm a musician but like, a Jackson doing folk indie?"
Hamilton appeared in the episode and discussed how Jackson has "duties" to her family.
"Paris has these duties to her family's legacy, but I feel like that doesn't really deter her from going out on her own and creating her own legacy," he said, later adding: "Her father’s legacy is undeniable, and she will always respect that and honor that but that will never be just who she is. She's far beyond the princess of the Jackson family."
In addition to following Jackson and Glenn's journey through their music, the new Facebook series also touches on their romantic relationship.
"I know when she was walking up that my body was saying, 'Be cool' but my brain was saying, 'Just run, just run' ... I knew I was walking towards a head over heels fall," Glenn said of meeting Jackson for the first time. "I wanted to spend every day and every night with her."
Though Jackson expressed a similar passion for Glenn, she shared that she "never thought" she would "end up with a dude."
"I thought I'd end up marrying a chick," she added. "I've dated more women than men."
"I wouldn't consider myself bisexual because I've dated more than just men and women," Jackson, who was previously linked to model Cara Delevingne, continued. "It has nothing to do with what's in your pants. It has nothing to do with what your XY chromosome makeup is, it's literally just what are you like as a person."
In episode 2 of the series, Jackson confronted her self-harm issues, which she said began after she moved into her grandmother Katherine's home following her father's death in 2009.
"I gained a lot of weight and [eating] became an addiction... and then a cousin called me fat so I was like, 'OK, I can't do that anymore," she said. "And that's how I fell into self-harm."
"I would cut and burn myself," she continued. "I never thought that I would die from it because I was always in control of the razor and I knew how deep I was going."
Jackson explained on the episode that "dopamine release" was part of her reason to self-harm.
"Dopamine is called dope for a reason, it feels good," she said. "Things like food and sex and drugs and music and working out — there's a lot of things that cause a dopamine release. Self-harm was one of them, tattoos was one of them and so there was that and then also it was a distraction from emotional pain and transferring to physical pain and the need for control."
She then went on to confess, "Yes, I tried to kill myself many times."
Jackson also opened up about her struggles with depression, which she said "comes in waves."
"So even though the lows are unbearably low, I would still rather [feel] that than nothing," she said. "Pain is way better than numb because at least you're feeling something.”
Unfiltered: Paris Jackson and Gabriel Glenn airs on Facebook Watch every Tuesday through Aug. 4.
- Family Karma Teases New Drama, New Relationships and New Cast Members in Season 2 Trailer
- Queen Elizabeth 'Will Never Abdicate': Philip 'Would Have Wanted Her to Crack On,' Says Former Aide
- ACM Awards 2021 Duets, Medleys and More Announced: All the Details
- The Blended Bunch: Erica Shemwell's Daughter, 10, Doesn't Want to Take Stepdad Spencer's Last Name