Noah Cyrus Says She Didn't Think 'I Was Going to Be Here' for Her 21st Birthday: 'I Was So Sad'
"i just want to run back in time and give that Noah a huge ass hug.. as she was breaking ever so slowly," the singer wrote on Instagram
Noah Cyrus is reflecting on one of the hardest times in her life.
The 20-year-old singer shared a candid message to her fans on Instagram as she celebrates the two-year anniversary of her debut EP Good Cry, written about her battles with depression and anxiety.
"putting this ep out and going on tour during one of the most depressive times in my life was so hard," she wrote. "every day felt like lifting 100lb weights just to get out of bed. the ache in my chest from the pain felt unbearable.."
"at 18 i didn't think i was going to be here for a 20th birthday soon to be 21. they felt 1000 years away. it seems impossible... i was so sad. so hurt. and so scared," she continued. "thank you to everyone that's been by my side during all of my progression and the times where it felt like i was regressing."
The singer reminded fans to be patient with her as she releases new music and to take their mental health seriously. She also admitted the difficulties of growing up in the spotlight.
"every day is work when it comes to your mental health and personal battles. not every day is going to be hell and not every day is going to be perfect. i'm still figuring that out," she wrote, before adding, "thank you for understanding how growing up so publicly was hard on me.. thank you for your support and continuing to grow with me."
She then spoke about her first body of work and how the songs on it were "nothing but the truth."
"i still stand with needing a good f—n cry every once in awhile [sic]," she wrote. "i know that pain is something we HAVE to feel and experience. i owe this album so much. it tought [sic] me so much about myself... and looking back at myself then to sho [sic] i am now i just want to run back in time and give that Noah a huge ass hug.. as she was breaking ever so slowly."
"i'm so happy that i was able to create something that everyone relates to... i turned the pain into something beautiful that others can sing, cry, or smile to and nothing makes me feel more purposeful than that," she ended the note. "i love you all thank you so much for everything."
"LOVE YOU FL NOAH💕," wrote songwriter Jenna Andrews.
"I hope you can see my comment but this ep means sooo much to me personally, it helped me get through a lot and I wanted to let you know," one fan wrote.
The "Lonely" singer has previously spoken about the struggles of growing up as the younger sister of Miley Cyrus. In her track "Young & Sad," she sings about being born to "rain clouds" while her "sister's like sunshine, bringing good light wherever she'll go."
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"That was something I heard my whole life, every single day, my whole life. It was either that or that I wasn't enough in some way, whether it was the way I look or the way I am," she shared on Instagram Live earlier this year. "Like I said the other day, sometimes I feel like I don't even breathe right sometimes."
Cyrus has always been open about her mental health struggles. Over the last few years, she's even teamed up with the Ad Council for the Seize the Awkward campaign and The Jed Foundation, two non-profit organizations dedicated to preventing suicide and ending the stigma around mental illness.
"I've struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 10 or 11 years old," Cyrus told James Corden on The Late Late Show last year. "One of the things that I've always wanted is to use this platform to talk about my mental health and help young adults all around America and everywhere in the world know that they're not alone."
If you or someone you know is considering suicide or need mental health help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.