"My pain is from a 2-year-old that probably won't remember how much his dad loved him," Lauren London said of their son Kross

By Karen Mizoguchi
April 11, 2019 05:14 PM

Lauren London shared one of her final farewells to Nipsey Hussle at the slain rapper’s memorial in Los Angeles on Thursday, calling him “the love of my life.”

“Never would I prepare for something like this so bear with me, all,” the 34-year-old actress told the crowd of 21,000 in the Staples Center who had gathered to pay respects to the artist born Ermias Joseph Asghedom.

Beginning her eulogy with a text message she wrote on Jan. 21, London, who was dressed in all white with black sunglasses, read the loving words she put together for her boyfriend of six years.

“Ermias was asleep one morning and I was watching him because I used to love to watch him sleep and I wrote him a text while he was sleeping so when he woke up he would read it,” said London, who also shared a copy of the text message in the funeral’s pamphlet.

Lauren London 
Tidal

RELATED: Lauren London’s Sons Speak at Nipsey Hussle’s Funeral: ‘He Told Me What Heaven Was Like’

 

“I want you to know I feel real joy in my heart when I’m around you. I feel safe around you. Protected. Like a shield over me when you’re around, I am totally myself when I’m with you,” London had written. “You’ve made me into more of a woman. You’ve given me an opportunity to really love a man,” she continued.

Later adding, “You’re still the coolest guy in the world to me. Still! I love you so much. Unconditionally. My truth is this. I’m never going to give up on you. My loyalty and devotion is to you.”

After reading the text message, London told the crowd, “I’ve never felt this type of pain before but I know that God is alive but bear with me all,” as she read another passage of words she had put together for the memorial.

“His soul was majestic. He was the strongest man that I ever knew. A gentle father, a patient leader, a divine light. He was brilliant. He researched everything, completely self-taught, constantly seeking knowledge,” London said.

RELATED: Nipsey Hussle Honored by Thousands at Staples Center Memorial Before Being Laid to Rest in L.A.

Gregg DeGuire/Getty Images

Hussle, 33, died from gunshot wounds of both the head and torso on March 31, the Los Angeles County Department of Medical Examiner-Coroner confirmed. “Paramedics were called and Hussle was taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead at 3:55 p.m.,” the coroner said, in a statement obtained by PEOPLE.

At Thursday’s memorial, London also fondly remembered their everyday lives together with their children: son Kross Asgehdom, Hussle’s daughter Emani Asghedom and London’s son Cameron Carter (whom she shares with rapper Lil Wayne).

“He would go to bed and listen to these audiobooks in his headphones and I would tease him but that really was what I thought was the coolest s— ever about him. He would wake up in the morning and play music for the kids and light a sage and burn it around the house, just to make sure that our energy going outside would be uplifting and we could handle the day,” she said.

RELATED: Nipsey Hussle’s Mom Says She Sensed Something Terrible Coming: ‘I Had Not Slept For Weeks’

Speaking of their son Kross, London became emotional at the thought of her child growing up without his father.

“My pain is from a 2-year-old that probably won’t remember how much his dad loved him,” she said. “This is something that I don’t really understand but I know Ermias always used to say that you can’t possess people; that you experience them. I’m so honored and blessed to experience such a man.”

Addressing her hometown, which was also where he was born and raised, London told the city: “I know everyone’s hurting but I’d like to say something to my city, Los Angeles. Y’all from L.A. stand up. Because this pain is really ours. We know what it meant to us, we lost an incredible soul. We lost someone very rare to us, we lost a real one.”

London concluded her speech with one of Hussle’s most well-known phrases. “In Hussle words, because he always used to say this: The game is going to test you but never fold, stay 10 toes down. It’s not on you, it’s in you and what’s in you they can’t take away. He’s in all of us,” she said.

“To Ermias, the love of my life. You know what it is. Grief is the final act of love. My heart hears you, I feel you everywhere. I’m so grateful that I had you. I love you beyond this Earth. Until we meet again, the Marathon continues,” London shared.

RELATED: Barack Obama Sends Heartfelt Letter to Nipsey Hussle’s Family on Day of Memorial: ‘He Saw Hope’

London previously paid tribute to her boyfriend of five years on Instagram, sharing a slideshow of photos of them together with their family. “I am completely lost,” London wrote. “I’ve lost my best friend, my sanctuary, my protector, my soul. We are lost without you babe — I have no words.”

Following Hussle’s death, Eric Holder, 29, has since been charged with one count of murder, two counts of attempted murder and one count of possession of a firearm by a felon, according to a release from the Los Angeles County’s District Attorney’s Office.

RELATED VIDEO: Lauren London’s Son, Cameron Carter, Remembers Nipsey Hussle At Memorial Service

On April 4, he entered a plea of not guilty in court. Holder could face a maximum sentence of life in state prison if convicted.

Holder has hired attorney Chris Darden, who famously was part of the prosecution team in O.J. Simpson’s murder trial, according to CBS LA.