Machine Gun Kelly on His Mental Health: I'm 'Sick of Smiling on Days When I Don't Feel Like' It

"I think I'm new to being vulnerable outside of songs," the musician said

Machine Gun Kelly is getting candid about his mental health.

Speaking to Drew Barrymore — as he painted her nails — on her talk show, the 31-year-old musician shared how he's become more emotionally honest and vulnerable outside of his music.

"I think I'm new to being vulnerable outside of songs. I see a lot of pictures of me and there's like, smiles on them," he said. "It's just weird though because I didn't feel good at all that day and I kind of am sick of smiling on days when I don't feel like smiling."

He added, "And I feel like this odd pressure because I don't want my fans to think that I'm taking something for granted so if I accept an award and I'm super smiley but behind the scenes, there was stuff going on."

Machine Gun Kelly attends the premiere of "Big Time Adolescence" at Metrograph on March 05, 2020 in New York City.
Machine Gun Kelly. Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

The singer — who shared that he'd rather speak about "fun stuff" with Barrymore — explained that "a lot of what I do is for other people and I haven't given myself the time to just accept that it's OK to not be OK."

Barrymore, 46, responded by saying she "likes him so much more" after hearing him open up, even sharing herself that she needed mental health help after her 2016 divorce from Will Kopelman after nearly four years of marriage.

"I wasn't doing very well and I just wanted to go talk to some people and how to pull myself out of a hole and I had these two kids that I had to fight for and I needed help," she said. "I started reaching out to different people and eventually, I really made some big, sweeping changes in my life and I got on a whole new track — not back on track, but a brand new one that I helped build."

The entire episode featuring Machine Gun Kelly is set to air on Friday, Dec. 10.

Kelly has previously opened up about his mental health. Back in January, he told fans on his Instagram that "I've been in, kind of like, a f—ed up place personally for a couple of months in my head."

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And last January, he tweeted, "anxiety's eating me alive."

In December 2020, he also revealed that he was seeking therapy for his struggles in an interview with Interview magazine.

"Currently, my drug of choice is happiness and commitment to the art, rather than commitment to a vice that I believed made the art," Kelly said at the time. "I'm taking steps. I had my first therapy session last Thursday. That's the first time I ever went, 'Hey, I need to separate these two people,' which is Machine Gun Kelly and Colson Baker. The dichotomy is too intense for me."

While noting that he's "early in the process," Kelly said that he's already begun to get something out of therapy.

"The tools that I've been given to start with seem helpful, I think," he said. "I'm still kind of ripping my hair out. Why am I not changing overnight? How am I supposed to meditate for 10 minutes when I can't even sit in my own brain for two minutes without distracting myself by doing something? That's really hard."

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